Logical argument doesn't work. We have to think of another way. In a past job in customer service, a teacher used the example of a runaway horse and carriage. Said rather than holding up your arm before it and shouting, "Stop!" you need to mount the horse (not sure how this was accomplished) and gradually slow it down. I understood this …
Logical argument doesn't work. We have to think of another way. In a past job in customer service, a teacher used the example of a runaway horse and carriage. Said rather than holding up your arm before it and shouting, "Stop!" you need to mount the horse (not sure how this was accomplished) and gradually slow it down. I understood this to mean that if you want to fix a customer's problem, you must listen to their argument carefully enough to understand how to "slow the horse down." You must be genuinely empathetic. This is very hard to do. I think something like this might work with Trump supporters, but it means facing my own biases and resentments, and so far I haven't been able to let them go well enough to get anywhere near that horse.
MaryPat, I had a long discussion with my husband about your reply. It was about if there can be an objective truth and in what circumstances. We didn't reach a conclusion before getting tired of talking.
Wow, I don't know if I should be honored or if I should apologize! I am reminded, though, when I imagine trying to help a trumper "see the light", of the woman who went to a marriage counselor for help. She was advised (if I remember this correctly), "Just because you are right doesn't make it good." In other words, we are right - tRump is a con. But "telling the truth" to a trumper will not solve the problem. I don't have to change my bias, as much as I need to think about what would be helpful for the other person. A stock market that doesn't wobble and plunge, a job that pays a living wage with benefits, a hero who doesn't tweet lies, maybe a prescription that doesn't combine antidepressant with narcotic with alcohol to cause a serotonin storm of anger. I think I am way off the philosophical conundrum now, and describing 4 trumpers I know. Darn, do we have to do this one at a time? Perhaps. What it may all boil down to is one thing my mom used to say, "Be Nice."
It is indeed hard to do. I have friends who are Republicans who are willing to engage in political conversations over lunch (pre-Covid). It is amazing to me that people I have so much in common with could have such opposing political views. But sitting across from them, one on one, allows for discussions that help to understand why this or that policy upsets them. In the end, it always comes back to them advocating for what they believe is best for themselves and their loved ones. Just like me. Perhaps it would be helpful to view others as “us” instead of “others”. Like when as a child in grade school teachers had us write letters to pen pals in foreign countries - in my case countries considered communist - so that we could see the humanity of those who lived there.
Also trying to read articles from sources supporting other views can expand your horizons as well as reading books with opposing viewpoints. For instance, I’m reading Blackout by Candace Owens to get a perspective on why some believe black people should abandon the Democrat Party. I’ll admit it isn’t easy to read because I disagree with her point of view, but I feel it is important to read so that I understand what the issues are - not her solutions. I believe I can think for myself. But I know I don’t know what someone else’s problems are. I’m a big reader, so this method helps me understand.
linguistic detail - it's the "Democratic" party. 'Democrat' is the noun, 'democratic' is the adjective. Mis-using parts of speech in ordinary speaking (poetry not included) is derogatory. My guess is you picked it up by accident from hearing it so often.
Logical argument doesn't work. We have to think of another way. In a past job in customer service, a teacher used the example of a runaway horse and carriage. Said rather than holding up your arm before it and shouting, "Stop!" you need to mount the horse (not sure how this was accomplished) and gradually slow it down. I understood this to mean that if you want to fix a customer's problem, you must listen to their argument carefully enough to understand how to "slow the horse down." You must be genuinely empathetic. This is very hard to do. I think something like this might work with Trump supporters, but it means facing my own biases and resentments, and so far I haven't been able to let them go well enough to get anywhere near that horse.
What if your "bias" is truth?
MaryPat, I had a long discussion with my husband about your reply. It was about if there can be an objective truth and in what circumstances. We didn't reach a conclusion before getting tired of talking.
Wow, I don't know if I should be honored or if I should apologize! I am reminded, though, when I imagine trying to help a trumper "see the light", of the woman who went to a marriage counselor for help. She was advised (if I remember this correctly), "Just because you are right doesn't make it good." In other words, we are right - tRump is a con. But "telling the truth" to a trumper will not solve the problem. I don't have to change my bias, as much as I need to think about what would be helpful for the other person. A stock market that doesn't wobble and plunge, a job that pays a living wage with benefits, a hero who doesn't tweet lies, maybe a prescription that doesn't combine antidepressant with narcotic with alcohol to cause a serotonin storm of anger. I think I am way off the philosophical conundrum now, and describing 4 trumpers I know. Darn, do we have to do this one at a time? Perhaps. What it may all boil down to is one thing my mom used to say, "Be Nice."
It is indeed hard to do. I have friends who are Republicans who are willing to engage in political conversations over lunch (pre-Covid). It is amazing to me that people I have so much in common with could have such opposing political views. But sitting across from them, one on one, allows for discussions that help to understand why this or that policy upsets them. In the end, it always comes back to them advocating for what they believe is best for themselves and their loved ones. Just like me. Perhaps it would be helpful to view others as “us” instead of “others”. Like when as a child in grade school teachers had us write letters to pen pals in foreign countries - in my case countries considered communist - so that we could see the humanity of those who lived there.
Also trying to read articles from sources supporting other views can expand your horizons as well as reading books with opposing viewpoints. For instance, I’m reading Blackout by Candace Owens to get a perspective on why some believe black people should abandon the Democrat Party. I’ll admit it isn’t easy to read because I disagree with her point of view, but I feel it is important to read so that I understand what the issues are - not her solutions. I believe I can think for myself. But I know I don’t know what someone else’s problems are. I’m a big reader, so this method helps me understand.
Candace Owens is a disgrace to her race.
linguistic detail - it's the "Democratic" party. 'Democrat' is the noun, 'democratic' is the adjective. Mis-using parts of speech in ordinary speaking (poetry not included) is derogatory. My guess is you picked it up by accident from hearing it so often.
Typo from rewriting of my thoughts on the fly - thanks for catching the error.