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Erik JM Schneider's avatar

Thank you for having the stomach for Trump's antics. I have barely been able to listen to a Republican president since Reagan openly expressed his disdain for those dying of AIDS by blaming them for the situation in which they found themselves: often alone, abandoned by judgmental families and scared friends, with only medical staff accompanying them on their death beds.

There is so much about our situation that reminds me of the beginning of the AIDS crisis, despite the fact that the virus that causes COVID is affecting even "decent men and women", to recall one of Reagan's favorite phrases for voicing a deeply exclusionary vision for this country. That this vision has become narrower and narrower, to the point where only those who can be pulled into the cruel alternative reality of a sadistic con man, does not surprise me nearly as much as it does many other white folks my age.

But in Trump I see and hear only a repetition and intensification of a dominant culture that has been brutal and self-aggrandizing from the time it set foot on this continent, assuming that divine providence had given it the power and authority to brush aside the claims of those who already lived here. The "empty wilderness", just waiting for the hand of European men to bring it under civilized order, is no less a fanciful narrative than any that Trump has cooked up: it was a cruel fiction into which many well-intentioned people enthusiastically threw themselves and took up their parts as tamers of wild lands and peoples. The ruthlessness of the ensuing drama is the other half of our original sin as a country, and the necessary counterpart of slavery in nation-building.

And now we who descend from colonialists and settlers are finally beginning to understand what it means to live under this kind of arrogance and arbitrary rejection of the complexity of life on earth. It occurred to me last week that Trump's aptitude for twisting reality to the point that many of us are left nearly paralyzed with anxiety about what might happen next is just another echo of the interpersonal abuse that is rampant in our culture, and that the only way to neutralize this kind of violence is to step out of the narrative and find a way not to be pulled into its immobilizing spell of extreme uncertainty.

Which is no easy feat for anyone who is living under domestic violence or familial abuse, but is at least somewhat easier if the person who would control our reality is on the opposite coast and has no access to us that we do not ourselves grant him. And so I decided to kick him out of my head and let the events tell me how I needed to respond as they unfolded.

Which is why one reason why I thank you for taking on the task of reassembling the narrative for your readers. I know I am not the only survivor of abuse watching in horror as this man attempts to pull an entire nation into his psychodrama; we have been rehearsing this moment all our lives. And I am certainly not alone in belonging to a number of groups that he and many other conservatives have repeatedly targeted as being deserving of quite nearly nothing that sustains life, but plenty that beats it out of us, sometimes quickly (as though merciful!), and sometimes as one tiny slice of flesh, over and over and over and over.

I have begun to think a bit more about the possible cultural links between a deniable--and usually denied--proclivity for private, familial abuse and a potential for publicly embraced fascism. I have often wondered what it would take for the US to begin to understand what Europe was forced to come to grips with after World War II: that white culture is not exceptional, that it is capable of and has already committed grotesque violence in a number of founding political and even philosophical gestures, and that it will destroy itself if it does not recognize the realities underwriting its current existence.

If this seems a rather dark vision and a sobering way of registering my gratitude, it is only because I see this moment as a moment in which we may have begun to turn around, but it seems glaringly clear to me that we must keep walking in some other direction than the one that brought us here. Otherwise we will be back much sooner than many might expect. That the vote has been closer than many of us were hoping seems to me a good thing, for even if we are able to get this one example of USian fascist domination out of the executive office, it seems clear that we have much more work to do to cure ourselves of ills that allowed him to gain that office to begin with.

Perhaps later on I can say more about what it seems to me we have to do. It is far from simple or even all that clear to me, but certain parts of Euro-American culture have long been placed into critical questioning by those of us who think about such things. One difficult part is disappointing the faith of so many who still think of the US as the shining city on the hill. And there are many and much deeper faiths that I doubt will be even as easy to address as that one.

But later for that. As a disabled academic, I am in fact deeply grateful to you for doing this work that I myself only wish I had the energy for. When this is over (will we know when it is over..? Maybe when there is a lull?), please do take a nice long refreshing rest. One thing we USians often forget is that caretaking is essential: for ourselves, yes, but also as a service to each other.

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Peter Janney's avatar

Heather - You encapsulated so well this morning the pitiful President we have endured for the last four years. As a licensed clinical psychologist in Massachusetts for 40 years now, I regret that our media does not call Trump out for what he is – a mentally ill person who continues to show us how utterly delusional and dangerous his rants have become. Last night, he went to a whole new level that approached a full blown psychosis.

But even more striking to me in this election has been to face the reality that over 69 million Americans voted for him. As Nicholas Kristof in the NYT yesterday said, "How is it that so many millions of Americans watched Trump for four years, suffered the pain of his bungling of Covid-19, listened to his stream of lies, observed his attacks on American institutions — and then voted for him in greater numbers than before?"

What has taken place in this country with Trump and Trumpism has so stained America's Experiment in Democracy, that I find myself feeling hopeless and traumatized about our future and recovery . . . .

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