I know you do not write the news, but your framing of the events of the day is unlike that of any I’ve known. I’ve become familiar with your “voice” not just from your Chats, but your written voice expressed here in these missives, and I value it.
The measure you take of events, your passion for histo…
I know you do not write the news, but your framing of the events of the day is unlike that of any I’ve known. I’ve become familiar with your “voice” not just from your Chats, but your written voice expressed here in these missives, and I value it.
The measure you take of events, your passion for history, for context, and for the well-being of our Democracy, might go unnoticed were it not for these Letters and that would be a shame. It is this passion – this enthusiasm and thoroughness, even joy, you bring to your work – that distinguishes it and sets it above the noise that often passes for informed commentary in these fractured times.
What follows may sound a bit unhinged but indulge me for a moment.
I am not a particularly spiritual person, but there have been a handful of times in my life when I didn’t know where to turn – tough times, nothing but the change in my pocket times. And for some reason I cannot explain, a cat appeared – a normal house cat – and by appeared, I mean either literally showed up in my room unannounced and for no apparent reason or happened to live in the place where I was taking refuge at the time. I can’t explain it – but it happened. And these cats stilled me, befriended me when I needed a friend.
Now, I’m not exactly comparing you to a cat, Professor Richardson, but when I had reached the point where I could no longer make sense of what was going on in our country – you appeared. A student of mine sent me one of your Letters and I have been here ever since, listening, comforted in the knowledge that much of what we are experiencing has happened before in one form or another.
So, thank you great Spirit, whoever or whatever you are, for cats and Professor Heather Richardson.
Thank you, R Dooley! I had the same experience with horses that entered my life 20+ years ago. Every morning on the short walk from the house to the barn my mind would be filled with the demands of the day. "I'll just throw feed in their bowls and toss out some hay, then be off to work." But upon entering the barn and being in their presence, a calm would take over me. I lost all sense of time. They literally, as you say, stilled me. I'd say they taught me to rethink what really was important in life.
As well, a friend sent me one of Professor Richardson's Letters last year and I have been a follower ever since. Looking through her aura makes it easier to be still in spite of the crazy that surrounds us.
(BTW, the stillness of my barn is an exact antidote to my 2 housebound feline friends!)
Yesterday, in the middle of my second week of chemo radiation, I braved the long drive out to the barn. My new boy was fairly indifferent, oh, the treat lady is here, I will tolerate you for the banana. My old guy, who I’ve had for more than 11 years, drew me in to his neck, wrapped his head around me, and held me close, with me breathing his wonderful smell, until I felt all the tension drain through my feet, at which point he sighed and stepped away. He is magical. I rode him for about 20 minutes, just walking, until I couldn’t anymore. I came home beyond exhausted, but full of joy in the simple beautiful things of the day.
Kathy wishing you well. The dog I adopted from a No-Kill Shelter in September is called The Magic Poodle by my friends: since his arrival in my life my cancer numbers are down and tumors are shrinking. Not without intense side effects--and the exhaustion of which you speak--but caring for an empathetic 4-legged family member is so healing. Hang in there, friend.
You, too, Linda. We have a crazy puppy too - he's one, and so so energetic! But snuggles me so nicely during my many naps. I will keep you in my thoughts, that you (and I!) continue to cure and heal.
Best of luck, Linda. Yesterday a close friend said that he has inoperable cancer. It's not known yet how serious it is, but we have to start saying goodbye.
The team is amazing. So dedicated, so caring. We are unbelievably blessed to live less than 10 minutes from Ohio State’s cancer hospital, to have great insurance, a wonderful friend network who are feeding us, and a great deal of physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and mental strength. My husband is a rock, my children are being supportive, and we are hopeful.
I’m so glad that you have such wonderful support, Kathy. Your story about your “old boy” is beautiful. Hopefully he will teach your “new boy” and he, in time, will become another of your “old boys”. I hope your chemo removes the illness from your body the same way your old boy’s hug removed your tension. ❤️
It’s a shame that with so much joy and support around you that you have to deal with such a terrible disease. I’m sure you have extraordinary strength. It seems inadequate to say “God bless you”, but your story touched me greatly. So - God bless you. May you have many years more to enjoy what is around you.
Sometimes bad things just happen. I wish it hadn’t. God, do I wish that. But, there are good parts, too. My marriage was strong to begin with, but now it’s even stronger. That’s wonderful. Thank you so much for your kind words.
We all wish you a speedy recovery. With all of the resources at your disposal, good family support, and expert medical care, please remain positive, Kathy.
Oh, Kathy...such joy for you with your old guy. Keep the faith with the "young'un." He, too, will come around. I have 2 newbies to the barn (just over 4 years here.) A big change for one of them this year for the better!
I am in your corner for you to fully heal sooner rather than later.
Where to put this, bingo, Spooky, my darling African American teenage step granddaughter, has been interested in horses since she was a toddler. Her parents have fostered that love and she has been around horses for most of her young life. I know they are great comfort to her, always and especially when she has received an awful comment about the color of her beautiful skin. As an aside, I wish her grandpa had lived long enough to be in her life, she is truly a special human.
It all looks like a grand digression… but when you look at Dr. Cox Richardson’s calm, lucid interweaving of past and present, context and content, facts and meaning, then this sudden burst of spontaneous togetherness, with each other, within ourselves, with the plain goodness of the animals around us, it is wonderfully encouraging. A clear and powerful ray of light, cutting through the fog of am-I-my-brother’s-keeper fear, lies, indifference and hostility. For these moments, we can pause and be grateful.
I’m glad. But I’m always wary of becoming sententious, it’s all too easy. Please forgive me if I fall into that trap.
I’d just written, wishing that you and Linda should always have and share the courage and joy you’ve found in this hard time. I would wish this on no one, yet if I had to live my life again, one thing I would not forgo is the experience of a rare cancer—if only because of the company I had throughout (and still have, years later). It was a privilege to meet and spend time with that team of doctors and nurses—skilled, dedicated and (while you always knew who was the professor, who the student nurse, who was the expert, who the learner) always that sense of equality, within the close knit group and in their relationship with the sick. All human beings, all in this together—and that outweighed all else, all those letters after their names. They treated us, above all, they accompanied us.
Goodness knows what we shall all have to face in the coming months and years, but it will be great if we can keep up awareness of the simple reality that we are all in this life together, if we can stay free in the face of whatever comes. It may be that small numbers of lucid, free individuals just standing together, without any partisan agenda, will count for more than a vast, amorphous stampede of the brainwashed. So be it!
Meanwhile, I wish you and those around you all good things.
I agree. I live in an area where most people including my own family members are very outspoken Trump supporters. I was having a hard time. Then a friend introduced me to Heather Cox Richardson’s letters. Ever since then I rely on her letters to help me maintain sanity and peace.
I also subscribe to a conservative newsletter (not a Trump-positive one) just to try to retain the ability to have conversations with people who disagree with me. There is a continuum of viewpoints from liberal to still Trump loyal/very anti-democrats in their commentariat. This is where I come afterwards -- like a balm on my soul and conscience--it makes me feel so less alone or softens the sting of so many Trump voters and RW misery and insanity. I listened to a podcast yesterday (The New Abnormal) and there was a guest who said that there are more conservatives than liberals and the only reason Democrats get elected is the large number of moderates their policies sway. Now, I would say I am on the moderate side of liberal at this stage in my life. But I think that many of us suffer under the illusion that most people are like us when they are not.
Remember to stand firmly anchored in what gives you joy. When we focus on negativity we leave very little room for gratitude. I have experienced throughout my life that situations come and go with storms and with the tide. Our planet is much better off...our spirits are much better off when we choose to take in and breathe out positivity and goodness...thereby depriving negative energy any form of sustainability.
We are in a time of turmoil and transition both internally and externally. We are being tossed in all aspects of life. Trust that this is necessary in the bigger picture. Stay anchored in love....do/be whatever gives you joy. In this way, darkness is dispelled and light will shine forth, brighter than you've ever imagined.
I think we sometimes confuse conservative with people who hate change. Not always the same thing. Good for you on trying to stay informed on other viewpoints. I've been reading depressing books lately, "Dark Money" & "Democracy in Chains" & even " The Silk Roads:A New History of the World" and struggle to understand the mindset of power & control. At the same time I find myself wondering if I'm getting sucked into it.
Once I complained to a friend, a religious sister, that I wished I could give God a ring and ask “am I on the right track?” She said God responds by putting people in your life at those times. Why not an animal?
Animals know. They just know. When my late wife was ill, our black lab never left her side. We have a cat Bonya, that is Tanya's doctor cat. If she is feeling sick, he will cuddle up to her to sleep. If she is ok, he may sleep somewhere else. Perhaps they are 'angels unaware' but they know. You are totally correct about your cats. And HCR, except she brings comfort to thousands all at the same time.
Thank you R. Dooley for your deep insights on finding what matters. I've always had cats in my life - as I type this, my feral-born, gray tabby Bilbo, sits on my lap. But I discovered Dr. Richardson's rich insights by way of a Republican neighbor, who was spitting mad at something Dr.Richardson had written last year. Sheri just yelped at me about "you foolish criminal democrats" and mentioned Dr. Richardson's column. Talk about a circuitous path to stillness?!
My husband died of ALS just a week before the election. My stepdaughter lives just a block and a half from where George Floyd was killed in Minneapolis. The restaurant her partner owns is about a mile east of where the worst of the rioting occurred after Floyd's death. My younger brother was unable to leave his apartment in downtown Minneapolis for nearly 48 hours because of the riots, and my younger daughter was furloughed from her job that same week. Yowser, it was a tough year.
Thankfully, I had enough help from my community to keep my husband fed and safe and well cared for, free of COVID until he died. But in the wee hours, when I couldn't sleep because of personal stress and the threats to my democracy, I found that quiet still place here among so many thoughtful, reasoning people. My degrees are in journalism and I worked for environmental groups most of the last 35 years. To watch the previous administration dismantle my life's work (and thousands of others) and put all Americans at risk because of their greed, stupidly and belief that they could vote on the laws of chemistry, virology and physics (climate change) almost put me under. I found sanity again in many places but for a life long political activist, this was the place I found context, understanding and the knowledge that there are still plenty of folks who believe in and will work towards democracy.
I sat for about 15 minutes this morning after reading today's letter. Then I read your response and cried with simple gratitude. Thank you for articulating so clearly what I could not put into words. Be well - and enjoy those cats!
Sbmn, I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how difficult it is to lose the love of your life, especially at the time of Covid when all human interaction is stifled. I am glad you found Dr. Richardson and the community here. I, too, have had cats all my life (although I did have a dog, an Alaskan Malamute, when I lived in Buffalo, NY) and my cats have always given us love and comfort. A couple of years ago when I had surgery, one of my kitties would plop himself in my lap and stay with me for as long as I would let him! Stay well and let us know how we can help you.
R Dooley, when I have needed them both cats and dogs have come into my life. They choose their time and I respect them for that. I've got a dog now but I have been the Ultimate Academic Cat Lady for most of my life--all of them arriving unannounced and demanding to be taken in. How can I say no? Same thing with my pooch. I found HCR through someone reposting her on FB. I am so glad I did, not only because of her calm, succinct, elegant presentation of the happenings of the day, but also because it introduced me to all of you. This has been the absolute best thing to come out of this annus horribilis.
Who was it that said, "When the student is ready, the teacher appears"? I think that's true of many of us here in regard to HCR and her letters. Well said, R Dooley!
R. Dooley, cats have an "uncanny" sense of when we humans are dejected and need comfort and stabilizing, and in most cases they jump into the breach and do all they can to reassure us. Lots of people have experienced this; so have I, unforgettably. And I'm convinced it's no slight to Heather to compare her beneficial presence to the sort of timely help cats have given you!
You can forget being unhinged, R Dooley, you're just fine. You need not have any concerns about your mental health. Congratulations for having the courage to voice your experience here.
In my Father's house are many mansions. That saying is attributed to the founder of Christianity, but I'm sure the inspiration for any of the world's religions would have their own languaging. I translate it as follows: in the greater scheme of reality, there are infinite dimensions. Notice the similarity between "mansion" and "dimension." There are a vast array of levels of reality, and we as humans are only tuned to see a thin slice of All That Is. These days, we can point to Star Trek movies and episodes, Star Wars, Men in Black, Avatar, etc. etc. etc. for visuals that express the concept.
So, that may or may not be helpful, but it's my introduction to what comes next.
Do not read Whitley Strieber, anyone seeing this name now, because this is off-the-reservation and off-the-charts terrifying stuff. Google him, sure, but I do not recommend reading this book of his.
I have to mention Whitley Strieber, because he wrote a book that I read once about his contact with an extraterrestrial, one of the Grays, I presume.
When something appears in your life which does not fit with your conception of reality, your mind as a prism or a filter turns it into an acceptable object or creature. In Whitley's case, he was bringing an extraterrestrial visitor into his house. Now none of us has actually seen one, I presume. If one of the short gray creatures with the bulbous eyes and no mouth showed up at your front door, how would your mind handle it?
Whitley's mind turned him into an owl. So for days, weeks, months, Whitley was seeing an owl, only he knew it wasn't an owl. But his prismatic mind had to manufacture something, it couldn't face the truth. Whitley did eventually begin to see this creature as it actually was, but it took some time.
If you have experienced or seen or read about visitations by angels, guardian spirits, et al, they often appear as animals. Quite common. The movie The Emerald Forest, for example.
So here's my observation, take it or leave it.
They are not cats. They look like cats, but in reality they are something or some person, but not a cat per se. Clearly your comforting helpers, your guardian angels/spirits/people, appear to you as cats when they materialize in your presence.
Obviously they are benevolent beings. Obviously they are personal allies of yours. Clearly a gift, a blessing, for appearing to you in time of need.
Thank you R Dooley for having the emotional courage (and trust?) to begin this thread; to Linda for sharing her healing journey and to Roland for words that feel like an answered prayer. It is often in the depth of suffering that we find a Living Presence greeting us in the most unexpected ways. When the self is stripped away and we are vulnerable, we are opened to find miracles everywhere. The “old ones” draw from a deep well. Thank you all for this loving community.
May I suggest, "The Way of the Shaman" by Michael Harner? Often in a shamanic trance (especially the lower world), your spirit will appear as an animal. That is a message from the ancients as to your true purpose and direction.
Well, I wasn't intending to start a discussion about unexplained phenomena and dream imagery here on a site about current events. Only responding to R Dooley.
If anyone has a burning question, you'll have to contact me by replying to one of my outdated posts on an old HCR page. That will shoot me an email.
A long time ago, I worked as a crisis counselor and homeless support person in a place called Project Place, when it was in a run-down brick building and when Reagan's legacy resulted in the deinstitutionalization of mental health inpatients. TPJ can drive there, if he wants. He can probably do his public confederate flag burning at their new HQ, they'd likely be ok with it. During that time, I learned to be open-minded to otherwise strange-sounding, easily dismissable stories. You would be surprised how often a trauma victim, for example, makes up an odd story about unpleasant and unassimilable experiences. So when you are open-minded and ask a person for more information about a story, as you explore with that person, they discover things which they had hidden, or buried, or were unable to process at the time. I rarely dismiss a story. It usually makes perfect sense, once you get to the bottom of it. R Dooley's situation is ideal. My dream world is another lovely place. A lot of this material, however, is dark, like a tumor or clot that builds up around a horrific incident to encase it and shield it. Not for the faint of heart if you go digging around with another person into their wounds and ghosts and skeletons.
Dang, Roland, you are one deep well. I love how many men in this forum (I am pretty sure TPJ is a man!) are willing to express themselves so openly. We need a lot more men like you guys in our world to change it. I appreciate all the work many of you must have had to do being raised in our Do Not Feel/Raising Cain cowboy culture.
I am feeling much less stress today about our world and what we all might create together.
I still think Seditionists should be swept out of our government immediately and jailed for 20 years on some island, or GITMO, where they subsist on their own and not our democracy's taxes. .
I am an NP who works with people with multiple “co-occurring disorders”. I know this darkness because I hear these stores every day and wanted to say that your analogy of tumor/clot is brilliant. I’ve never heard it before and it is an excellent description. May I borrow it?
Previously repressed elements that are rising out of a dreamers unconscious on their way to being finally "dispersed" in the conscious personality and disappearing for good as the sufferer is "cured" take this form of a black cloud or swirling, dense mist.
Reminds me of a movie I saw in 1968 "The Magus." Very confusing discerning what is real from many plausible possibilities. I had some similar experiences working in a psych hospital acute unit.
There are many cases when an otherwise ordinary person is also an angel, who shows up in another person's life to render help when it is needed. There are times when a non-human, for example a cat snuggling on our pillow, connects us to the comforting presence of G-d.
Thank you for this reminder that there are angels among us. I was graced by such an experience many years ago, and it is a blessing to be reminded of that time.
A friend of mine shared with me his definition of a "coincidence" and similar inexplicable events shaping your life. He said they are Gods way of passing unnoticed.
You know, I have to read Strieber's "Communion" now. Telling me not to read a horror story is like telling a teenager not to try alcohol or marijuana. However, my library does not have it for immediate download, so I'm going to have to see if I can order a print copy.
I get what you are putting down here. I also have read Whitley Strieber but not the book you have mentioned. I read another novel which you may find very interesting if you are a lover of speculative fiction. This one is called "Nature's End" by Whitley Strieber and James Kunetka. I liked it so much I located a copy to keep in my collection (I mostly read library books).
OMG. I hadn’t thought of Streiber’s book in years. It terrified me. Literally (used in the correct way here). I laid awake at night. Any (normal) movement of light jarred me. I never finished it and never read anything else he wrote.
I managed to finish the book, but I never read another book of his again. Nor did I ever return to that book, even though I’ve often re-read books. This is absolutely not light reading. Makes Stephen King seem like a stroll in the park, a warm breeze on a summer day. But even the bizarre and the terrifying can teach you something. It taught me that the mind distorts and alters and transforms what it is unable to compute. Like a trauma. OK I’m out of here, I have to sleep. I’m muting this thread. Nighty night!
My father's spirit lives in the mockingbird. In the years since he died in 1988, one has appeared or has sung within earshot for every significant occasion. I call it the Mocker Miracle. It has been less so since I moved to my house in '95 since I see at least one mockingbird every day now in my garden, but the import remains, giving me comfort, as we have come to rely on Heather to teach and guide us gently through the difficult times. We are lucky to have found her and each other in this supportive community.
Thanks for that response to her letter today. I agree with all of it! Those little pointy eared creatures have been part of my life in stressful times as well and I too have felt like Professor Richardson has saved my sanity. Spring is in air here in the PNW and it feels like the country is coming back to life as well.
Here in my state capitol, the towhees have come back and are calling to each other all around the mobile home park in which we live. And the Oregon spotted frogs have been singing for a week or so, too.
My... In the morning, I start reading David Abrams' The Spell of the Sensuous... The loss of connection with Nature, with earth, with animals, with all that's non-human... Yes, "other". Yet we are part of it all and so it is a part of us.
And now mankind is beset by sickness, every kind of sickness, every kind of self-destruction, and set on destroying the miraculous planet that sustains all life.
And here... it's curious, it's beautiful, just the sense of connection with and through a deeply thoughtful person bringing together people now and people in the past, their lives, their thoughts, their actions, and ours now. (This really is what history is all about -- about NOW and the roots of now!) And this person's presence, through her hard work of writing, is acting as a catalyst, bringing about far more than mere information for her readers, freeing thought and far more, deep feeling. And not just an opening up of awareness, not just release but the free, unashamed expression of those feelings.
This feels like the natural welling up of a powerful antidote to the poisons that have been unleashed on us for so long; and now, over the past few years, in unimaginable dosages.
We're fortunate to have come here, bringing so much with us. We've opened the doors and the windows of our lives, bringing in songbirds, loving horses, cats, dogs (mine are always with me). And feelings, good, healthy feelings! Deep health, even in illness.
Heather certainly has saved my sanity this past year, and now that things are looking better, although still challenging, Heather's Letters, along with many folks here who are becoming more light-hearted, are continuing to reconstitute our sanity. As for cats, we always have two, and they're very adept at keeping us out of a ditch. Heather, our "club," and cats - a winning combination.
Our current two were already middle-aged ladies when #2 (semi-feral, left behind when a neighbor moved) joined our household. They tolerate one another by giving one another a wide berth - but they seem to enjoy vigorous sparring when one is on each side of our patio sliding glass doors. Bop, bop, bop, raow! And they both act like they've won. Sweet, silly old ladies who love to sit in our laps and vie for that position.
We've always had two at a time. Our current two are a 7-year-old long-haired tuxedo male, who is super chill. We have a 3-year-old female long-haired gray tabby, left in a carrier behind a vet's office during Hurricane Irma (she's named Irma, of course). He holds her in contempt, but isn't mean to her, and she sometimes attacks him and rides him like a cowgirl, while he hisses. Pretty great, cheap entertainment!
Me too...cats. And I never considered myself a "cat" person. But they showed up. And HCR's Letters were introduced to me by my dear brother just days before his untimely death. So, I too thank that great "Spirit" for the keel which has kept my boat righted during this tumultuous year.
Thank you, Professor Richardson.
I know you do not write the news, but your framing of the events of the day is unlike that of any I’ve known. I’ve become familiar with your “voice” not just from your Chats, but your written voice expressed here in these missives, and I value it.
The measure you take of events, your passion for history, for context, and for the well-being of our Democracy, might go unnoticed were it not for these Letters and that would be a shame. It is this passion – this enthusiasm and thoroughness, even joy, you bring to your work – that distinguishes it and sets it above the noise that often passes for informed commentary in these fractured times.
What follows may sound a bit unhinged but indulge me for a moment.
I am not a particularly spiritual person, but there have been a handful of times in my life when I didn’t know where to turn – tough times, nothing but the change in my pocket times. And for some reason I cannot explain, a cat appeared – a normal house cat – and by appeared, I mean either literally showed up in my room unannounced and for no apparent reason or happened to live in the place where I was taking refuge at the time. I can’t explain it – but it happened. And these cats stilled me, befriended me when I needed a friend.
Now, I’m not exactly comparing you to a cat, Professor Richardson, but when I had reached the point where I could no longer make sense of what was going on in our country – you appeared. A student of mine sent me one of your Letters and I have been here ever since, listening, comforted in the knowledge that much of what we are experiencing has happened before in one form or another.
So, thank you great Spirit, whoever or whatever you are, for cats and Professor Heather Richardson.
Thank you, R Dooley! I had the same experience with horses that entered my life 20+ years ago. Every morning on the short walk from the house to the barn my mind would be filled with the demands of the day. "I'll just throw feed in their bowls and toss out some hay, then be off to work." But upon entering the barn and being in their presence, a calm would take over me. I lost all sense of time. They literally, as you say, stilled me. I'd say they taught me to rethink what really was important in life.
As well, a friend sent me one of Professor Richardson's Letters last year and I have been a follower ever since. Looking through her aura makes it easier to be still in spite of the crazy that surrounds us.
(BTW, the stillness of my barn is an exact antidote to my 2 housebound feline friends!)
Yesterday, in the middle of my second week of chemo radiation, I braved the long drive out to the barn. My new boy was fairly indifferent, oh, the treat lady is here, I will tolerate you for the banana. My old guy, who I’ve had for more than 11 years, drew me in to his neck, wrapped his head around me, and held me close, with me breathing his wonderful smell, until I felt all the tension drain through my feet, at which point he sighed and stepped away. He is magical. I rode him for about 20 minutes, just walking, until I couldn’t anymore. I came home beyond exhausted, but full of joy in the simple beautiful things of the day.
Kathy wishing you well. The dog I adopted from a No-Kill Shelter in September is called The Magic Poodle by my friends: since his arrival in my life my cancer numbers are down and tumors are shrinking. Not without intense side effects--and the exhaustion of which you speak--but caring for an empathetic 4-legged family member is so healing. Hang in there, friend.
You, too, Linda. We have a crazy puppy too - he's one, and so so energetic! But snuggles me so nicely during my many naps. I will keep you in my thoughts, that you (and I!) continue to cure and heal.
Bless you both, Kathy and Linda!
Best of luck, Linda. Yesterday a close friend said that he has inoperable cancer. It's not known yet how serious it is, but we have to start saying goodbye.
Thanks TPJ and Yeah--my boat too but even if my sell-by date is considerably accelerated it doesn't mean I can't make noise while I am able!
Continue to heal. It seems that you have found the formula.
Wishing you health. Hang in there. Spiritually connect with your doctors and nurses who care for you.
The team is amazing. So dedicated, so caring. We are unbelievably blessed to live less than 10 minutes from Ohio State’s cancer hospital, to have great insurance, a wonderful friend network who are feeding us, and a great deal of physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and mental strength. My husband is a rock, my children are being supportive, and we are hopeful.
I’m so glad that you have such wonderful support, Kathy. Your story about your “old boy” is beautiful. Hopefully he will teach your “new boy” and he, in time, will become another of your “old boys”. I hope your chemo removes the illness from your body the same way your old boy’s hug removed your tension. ❤️
What Karen said. Hugs.
It’s a shame that with so much joy and support around you that you have to deal with such a terrible disease. I’m sure you have extraordinary strength. It seems inadequate to say “God bless you”, but your story touched me greatly. So - God bless you. May you have many years more to enjoy what is around you.
Sometimes bad things just happen. I wish it hadn’t. God, do I wish that. But, there are good parts, too. My marriage was strong to begin with, but now it’s even stronger. That’s wonderful. Thank you so much for your kind words.
We all wish you a speedy recovery. With all of the resources at your disposal, good family support, and expert medical care, please remain positive, Kathy.
Oh, Kathy...such joy for you with your old guy. Keep the faith with the "young'un." He, too, will come around. I have 2 newbies to the barn (just over 4 years here.) A big change for one of them this year for the better!
I am in your corner for you to fully heal sooner rather than later.
I bought him in January. Such big dreams for the new FEI horse. Hopefully just on hold. He’s so spicy, I don’t dare ride him right now :)
A perfect time for you to just hang out with him (as well as the old guy). I suggest it will do wonders for both of you
Yes! This forces me to develop a connection on the ground, slow and steady. But dang that drive is rough.
How beautiful, Kathy. May your chemo work as beautifully for you.
Thank you for sharing such a touching and inspirational moment.
Glad that you have the peace of your animals to sustain and lift you up through your hard times. May you be blessed with success with your treatments.
I hear you Kathy ... can smell that smell and the feel of your friend's strong neck. Heal well ...
Emotional support equines. Best of luck to you, Kathy.
Kathy, Your words and feelings give inspiration. Thank you.
Where to put this, bingo, Spooky, my darling African American teenage step granddaughter, has been interested in horses since she was a toddler. Her parents have fostered that love and she has been around horses for most of her young life. I know they are great comfort to her, always and especially when she has received an awful comment about the color of her beautiful skin. As an aside, I wish her grandpa had lived long enough to be in her life, she is truly a special human.
Thank you for that wonderful reply, life is tough enough without being recipient of hateful remarks and oh, for a more perfect world for all!
Fred WI, you put it perfectly.
It all looks like a grand digression… but when you look at Dr. Cox Richardson’s calm, lucid interweaving of past and present, context and content, facts and meaning, then this sudden burst of spontaneous togetherness, with each other, within ourselves, with the plain goodness of the animals around us, it is wonderfully encouraging. A clear and powerful ray of light, cutting through the fog of am-I-my-brother’s-keeper fear, lies, indifference and hostility. For these moments, we can pause and be grateful.
I love this so much!
I’m glad. But I’m always wary of becoming sententious, it’s all too easy. Please forgive me if I fall into that trap.
I’d just written, wishing that you and Linda should always have and share the courage and joy you’ve found in this hard time. I would wish this on no one, yet if I had to live my life again, one thing I would not forgo is the experience of a rare cancer—if only because of the company I had throughout (and still have, years later). It was a privilege to meet and spend time with that team of doctors and nurses—skilled, dedicated and (while you always knew who was the professor, who the student nurse, who was the expert, who the learner) always that sense of equality, within the close knit group and in their relationship with the sick. All human beings, all in this together—and that outweighed all else, all those letters after their names. They treated us, above all, they accompanied us.
Goodness knows what we shall all have to face in the coming months and years, but it will be great if we can keep up awareness of the simple reality that we are all in this life together, if we can stay free in the face of whatever comes. It may be that small numbers of lucid, free individuals just standing together, without any partisan agenda, will count for more than a vast, amorphous stampede of the brainwashed. So be it!
Meanwhile, I wish you and those around you all good things.
I have a similar gratitude in that this forum created by HCR has done wonders for my peace of mind and sanity
I agree. I live in an area where most people including my own family members are very outspoken Trump supporters. I was having a hard time. Then a friend introduced me to Heather Cox Richardson’s letters. Ever since then I rely on her letters to help me maintain sanity and peace.
I also subscribe to a conservative newsletter (not a Trump-positive one) just to try to retain the ability to have conversations with people who disagree with me. There is a continuum of viewpoints from liberal to still Trump loyal/very anti-democrats in their commentariat. This is where I come afterwards -- like a balm on my soul and conscience--it makes me feel so less alone or softens the sting of so many Trump voters and RW misery and insanity. I listened to a podcast yesterday (The New Abnormal) and there was a guest who said that there are more conservatives than liberals and the only reason Democrats get elected is the large number of moderates their policies sway. Now, I would say I am on the moderate side of liberal at this stage in my life. But I think that many of us suffer under the illusion that most people are like us when they are not.
Remember to stand firmly anchored in what gives you joy. When we focus on negativity we leave very little room for gratitude. I have experienced throughout my life that situations come and go with storms and with the tide. Our planet is much better off...our spirits are much better off when we choose to take in and breathe out positivity and goodness...thereby depriving negative energy any form of sustainability.
We are in a time of turmoil and transition both internally and externally. We are being tossed in all aspects of life. Trust that this is necessary in the bigger picture. Stay anchored in love....do/be whatever gives you joy. In this way, darkness is dispelled and light will shine forth, brighter than you've ever imagined.
Wise advice, thank you.
I think we sometimes confuse conservative with people who hate change. Not always the same thing. Good for you on trying to stay informed on other viewpoints. I've been reading depressing books lately, "Dark Money" & "Democracy in Chains" & even " The Silk Roads:A New History of the World" and struggle to understand the mindset of power & control. At the same time I find myself wondering if I'm getting sucked into it.
Peter Frankopan (The Silk Roads) is a very good historian.
Dark money is worse...
Bless your heart, the toxicity you experience reading that conservative newsletter can’t be good for you.
Honestly, there are some really great people on there and a few... well, let's just say I scroll by the worst of them.
Once I complained to a friend, a religious sister, that I wished I could give God a ring and ask “am I on the right track?” She said God responds by putting people in your life at those times. Why not an animal?
Thank you, Marcy, I needed to hear this today.
Animals know. They just know. When my late wife was ill, our black lab never left her side. We have a cat Bonya, that is Tanya's doctor cat. If she is feeling sick, he will cuddle up to her to sleep. If she is ok, he may sleep somewhere else. Perhaps they are 'angels unaware' but they know. You are totally correct about your cats. And HCR, except she brings comfort to thousands all at the same time.
'angels unaware' - love that.
Thank you R. Dooley for your deep insights on finding what matters. I've always had cats in my life - as I type this, my feral-born, gray tabby Bilbo, sits on my lap. But I discovered Dr. Richardson's rich insights by way of a Republican neighbor, who was spitting mad at something Dr.Richardson had written last year. Sheri just yelped at me about "you foolish criminal democrats" and mentioned Dr. Richardson's column. Talk about a circuitous path to stillness?!
My husband died of ALS just a week before the election. My stepdaughter lives just a block and a half from where George Floyd was killed in Minneapolis. The restaurant her partner owns is about a mile east of where the worst of the rioting occurred after Floyd's death. My younger brother was unable to leave his apartment in downtown Minneapolis for nearly 48 hours because of the riots, and my younger daughter was furloughed from her job that same week. Yowser, it was a tough year.
Thankfully, I had enough help from my community to keep my husband fed and safe and well cared for, free of COVID until he died. But in the wee hours, when I couldn't sleep because of personal stress and the threats to my democracy, I found that quiet still place here among so many thoughtful, reasoning people. My degrees are in journalism and I worked for environmental groups most of the last 35 years. To watch the previous administration dismantle my life's work (and thousands of others) and put all Americans at risk because of their greed, stupidly and belief that they could vote on the laws of chemistry, virology and physics (climate change) almost put me under. I found sanity again in many places but for a life long political activist, this was the place I found context, understanding and the knowledge that there are still plenty of folks who believe in and will work towards democracy.
I sat for about 15 minutes this morning after reading today's letter. Then I read your response and cried with simple gratitude. Thank you for articulating so clearly what I could not put into words. Be well - and enjoy those cats!
Sbmn, I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how difficult it is to lose the love of your life, especially at the time of Covid when all human interaction is stifled. I am glad you found Dr. Richardson and the community here. I, too, have had cats all my life (although I did have a dog, an Alaskan Malamute, when I lived in Buffalo, NY) and my cats have always given us love and comfort. A couple of years ago when I had surgery, one of my kitties would plop himself in my lap and stay with me for as long as I would let him! Stay well and let us know how we can help you.
I'm so happy that it resonated with you, brought perhaps a moment of peace. Thank you for your gracious words.
R Dooley, when I have needed them both cats and dogs have come into my life. They choose their time and I respect them for that. I've got a dog now but I have been the Ultimate Academic Cat Lady for most of my life--all of them arriving unannounced and demanding to be taken in. How can I say no? Same thing with my pooch. I found HCR through someone reposting her on FB. I am so glad I did, not only because of her calm, succinct, elegant presentation of the happenings of the day, but also because it introduced me to all of you. This has been the absolute best thing to come out of this annus horribilis.
Full agreement on both your points. One day, when the spirit moves, I'm going to write about my dog.
I, for one, am looking forward to reading it, R.
Who was it that said, "When the student is ready, the teacher appears"? I think that's true of many of us here in regard to HCR and her letters. Well said, R Dooley!
Supposedly an old Buddhist saying. The obverse is also true: when the teacher is ready, the student will appear.
Happy you enjoyed it - thanks.
R. Dooley, cats have an "uncanny" sense of when we humans are dejected and need comfort and stabilizing, and in most cases they jump into the breach and do all they can to reassure us. Lots of people have experienced this; so have I, unforgettably. And I'm convinced it's no slight to Heather to compare her beneficial presence to the sort of timely help cats have given you!
Agreed. So are dogs.
Yes.
Nice! Love your gratitude.
This is my department.
You can forget being unhinged, R Dooley, you're just fine. You need not have any concerns about your mental health. Congratulations for having the courage to voice your experience here.
In my Father's house are many mansions. That saying is attributed to the founder of Christianity, but I'm sure the inspiration for any of the world's religions would have their own languaging. I translate it as follows: in the greater scheme of reality, there are infinite dimensions. Notice the similarity between "mansion" and "dimension." There are a vast array of levels of reality, and we as humans are only tuned to see a thin slice of All That Is. These days, we can point to Star Trek movies and episodes, Star Wars, Men in Black, Avatar, etc. etc. etc. for visuals that express the concept.
So, that may or may not be helpful, but it's my introduction to what comes next.
Do not read Whitley Strieber, anyone seeing this name now, because this is off-the-reservation and off-the-charts terrifying stuff. Google him, sure, but I do not recommend reading this book of his.
I have to mention Whitley Strieber, because he wrote a book that I read once about his contact with an extraterrestrial, one of the Grays, I presume.
When something appears in your life which does not fit with your conception of reality, your mind as a prism or a filter turns it into an acceptable object or creature. In Whitley's case, he was bringing an extraterrestrial visitor into his house. Now none of us has actually seen one, I presume. If one of the short gray creatures with the bulbous eyes and no mouth showed up at your front door, how would your mind handle it?
Whitley's mind turned him into an owl. So for days, weeks, months, Whitley was seeing an owl, only he knew it wasn't an owl. But his prismatic mind had to manufacture something, it couldn't face the truth. Whitley did eventually begin to see this creature as it actually was, but it took some time.
If you have experienced or seen or read about visitations by angels, guardian spirits, et al, they often appear as animals. Quite common. The movie The Emerald Forest, for example.
So here's my observation, take it or leave it.
They are not cats. They look like cats, but in reality they are something or some person, but not a cat per se. Clearly your comforting helpers, your guardian angels/spirits/people, appear to you as cats when they materialize in your presence.
Obviously they are benevolent beings. Obviously they are personal allies of yours. Clearly a gift, a blessing, for appearing to you in time of need.
Thank you R Dooley for having the emotional courage (and trust?) to begin this thread; to Linda for sharing her healing journey and to Roland for words that feel like an answered prayer. It is often in the depth of suffering that we find a Living Presence greeting us in the most unexpected ways. When the self is stripped away and we are vulnerable, we are opened to find miracles everywhere. The “old ones” draw from a deep well. Thank you all for this loving community.
May I suggest, "The Way of the Shaman" by Michael Harner? Often in a shamanic trance (especially the lower world), your spirit will appear as an animal. That is a message from the ancients as to your true purpose and direction.
The Emerald Forest is a flawed but impressive film. I have recurring dreams about disappearing into the secret hidden tunnel.
Well, I wasn't intending to start a discussion about unexplained phenomena and dream imagery here on a site about current events. Only responding to R Dooley.
If anyone has a burning question, you'll have to contact me by replying to one of my outdated posts on an old HCR page. That will shoot me an email.
A long time ago, I worked as a crisis counselor and homeless support person in a place called Project Place, when it was in a run-down brick building and when Reagan's legacy resulted in the deinstitutionalization of mental health inpatients. TPJ can drive there, if he wants. He can probably do his public confederate flag burning at their new HQ, they'd likely be ok with it. During that time, I learned to be open-minded to otherwise strange-sounding, easily dismissable stories. You would be surprised how often a trauma victim, for example, makes up an odd story about unpleasant and unassimilable experiences. So when you are open-minded and ask a person for more information about a story, as you explore with that person, they discover things which they had hidden, or buried, or were unable to process at the time. I rarely dismiss a story. It usually makes perfect sense, once you get to the bottom of it. R Dooley's situation is ideal. My dream world is another lovely place. A lot of this material, however, is dark, like a tumor or clot that builds up around a horrific incident to encase it and shield it. Not for the faint of heart if you go digging around with another person into their wounds and ghosts and skeletons.
Dang, Roland, you are one deep well. I love how many men in this forum (I am pretty sure TPJ is a man!) are willing to express themselves so openly. We need a lot more men like you guys in our world to change it. I appreciate all the work many of you must have had to do being raised in our Do Not Feel/Raising Cain cowboy culture.
I am feeling much less stress today about our world and what we all might create together.
I still think Seditionists should be swept out of our government immediately and jailed for 20 years on some island, or GITMO, where they subsist on their own and not our democracy's taxes. .
I am an NP who works with people with multiple “co-occurring disorders”. I know this darkness because I hear these stores every day and wanted to say that your analogy of tumor/clot is brilliant. I’ve never heard it before and it is an excellent description. May I borrow it?
*stories, not stores. Oh, for an edit function!
Previously repressed elements that are rising out of a dreamers unconscious on their way to being finally "dispersed" in the conscious personality and disappearing for good as the sufferer is "cured" take this form of a black cloud or swirling, dense mist.
This is how I view much of Guillermo Del Toro's horror films and some of Neil Gaiman's fiction.
Reminds me of a movie I saw in 1968 "The Magus." Very confusing discerning what is real from many plausible possibilities. I had some similar experiences working in a psych hospital acute unit.
What else does psychoanalysis do when done properly?
Classic descent into your unconscious.
There are many cases when an otherwise ordinary person is also an angel, who shows up in another person's life to render help when it is needed. There are times when a non-human, for example a cat snuggling on our pillow, connects us to the comforting presence of G-d.
Thank you for this reminder that there are angels among us. I was graced by such an experience many years ago, and it is a blessing to be reminded of that time.
Little helpers along the road that have a "passing" role to play in your life.
A friend of mine shared with me his definition of a "coincidence" and similar inexplicable events shaping your life. He said they are Gods way of passing unnoticed.
And Jung referred to those mysterious coincidences as synchronicity. Life abounds with it when you begin to take notice.
You know, I have to read Strieber's "Communion" now. Telling me not to read a horror story is like telling a teenager not to try alcohol or marijuana. However, my library does not have it for immediate download, so I'm going to have to see if I can order a print copy.
I get what you are putting down here. I also have read Whitley Strieber but not the book you have mentioned. I read another novel which you may find very interesting if you are a lover of speculative fiction. This one is called "Nature's End" by Whitley Strieber and James Kunetka. I liked it so much I located a copy to keep in my collection (I mostly read library books).
Thanks for that, Roland.
OMG. I hadn’t thought of Streiber’s book in years. It terrified me. Literally (used in the correct way here). I laid awake at night. Any (normal) movement of light jarred me. I never finished it and never read anything else he wrote.
I managed to finish the book, but I never read another book of his again. Nor did I ever return to that book, even though I’ve often re-read books. This is absolutely not light reading. Makes Stephen King seem like a stroll in the park, a warm breeze on a summer day. But even the bizarre and the terrifying can teach you something. It taught me that the mind distorts and alters and transforms what it is unable to compute. Like a trauma. OK I’m out of here, I have to sleep. I’m muting this thread. Nighty night!
Is the writing as well done as Stephen King? Everyone's reactions has me very curious and I'm going to have to read this book!
My father's spirit lives in the mockingbird. In the years since he died in 1988, one has appeared or has sung within earshot for every significant occasion. I call it the Mocker Miracle. It has been less so since I moved to my house in '95 since I see at least one mockingbird every day now in my garden, but the import remains, giving me comfort, as we have come to rely on Heather to teach and guide us gently through the difficult times. We are lucky to have found her and each other in this supportive community.
Thanks for that response to her letter today. I agree with all of it! Those little pointy eared creatures have been part of my life in stressful times as well and I too have felt like Professor Richardson has saved my sanity. Spring is in air here in the PNW and it feels like the country is coming back to life as well.
Here in my state capitol, the towhees have come back and are calling to each other all around the mobile home park in which we live. And the Oregon spotted frogs have been singing for a week or so, too.
My... In the morning, I start reading David Abrams' The Spell of the Sensuous... The loss of connection with Nature, with earth, with animals, with all that's non-human... Yes, "other". Yet we are part of it all and so it is a part of us.
And now mankind is beset by sickness, every kind of sickness, every kind of self-destruction, and set on destroying the miraculous planet that sustains all life.
And here... it's curious, it's beautiful, just the sense of connection with and through a deeply thoughtful person bringing together people now and people in the past, their lives, their thoughts, their actions, and ours now. (This really is what history is all about -- about NOW and the roots of now!) And this person's presence, through her hard work of writing, is acting as a catalyst, bringing about far more than mere information for her readers, freeing thought and far more, deep feeling. And not just an opening up of awareness, not just release but the free, unashamed expression of those feelings.
This feels like the natural welling up of a powerful antidote to the poisons that have been unleashed on us for so long; and now, over the past few years, in unimaginable dosages.
We're fortunate to have come here, bringing so much with us. We've opened the doors and the windows of our lives, bringing in songbirds, loving horses, cats, dogs (mine are always with me). And feelings, good, healthy feelings! Deep health, even in illness.
Unbelievable!
Spring's in the air, let's go with it!
This stream of comments to R Dooley is delightful, well for the kindness.
Heather certainly has saved my sanity this past year, and now that things are looking better, although still challenging, Heather's Letters, along with many folks here who are becoming more light-hearted, are continuing to reconstitute our sanity. As for cats, we always have two, and they're very adept at keeping us out of a ditch. Heather, our "club," and cats - a winning combination.
Our current two were already middle-aged ladies when #2 (semi-feral, left behind when a neighbor moved) joined our household. They tolerate one another by giving one another a wide berth - but they seem to enjoy vigorous sparring when one is on each side of our patio sliding glass doors. Bop, bop, bop, raow! And they both act like they've won. Sweet, silly old ladies who love to sit in our laps and vie for that position.
We've always had two at a time. Our current two are a 7-year-old long-haired tuxedo male, who is super chill. We have a 3-year-old female long-haired gray tabby, left in a carrier behind a vet's office during Hurricane Irma (she's named Irma, of course). He holds her in contempt, but isn't mean to her, and she sometimes attacks him and rides him like a cowgirl, while he hisses. Pretty great, cheap entertainment!
OOPS, Substack needs help.
Hear, hear, YES!
Me too...cats. And I never considered myself a "cat" person. But they showed up. And HCR's Letters were introduced to me by my dear brother just days before his untimely death. So, I too thank that great "Spirit" for the keel which has kept my boat righted during this tumultuous year.
This entire thread is balm for my soul today. Thank you.