Tonight, while those who observe watched the Los Angeles Rams win the Super Bowl, we are in a holding pattern waiting to see if Russian president Vladimir Putin launches a major European invasion, and supporters of the former president of the United States, Donald Trump, are insisting that Trump’s opponent in the 2016 election, Hillary Clinton, committed treason by spying on his campaign.
There’s a lot going on.
So I thought tonight I would take a little detour and share one of my favorite stories about Valentine’s Day, which is on the calendar tomorrow. It’s one of my favorite stories not because of the way it starts, but because of the way it ends....
On Valentine’s Day in 1884, Theodore Roosevelt lost both his wife and his mother.
Four years before, Roosevelt could not have imagined the tragedy that would stun him in 1884. February 14, 1880, marked one of the happiest days of his life. He and the woman he had courted for more than a year, Alice Hathaway Lee, had just announced their engagement. Roosevelt was over the moon: “I can scarcely realize that I can hold her in my arms and kiss her and caress her and love her as much as I choose,” he recorded in his diary. What followed were, according to Roosevelt, “three years of happiness greater and more unalloyed than I have ever known fall to the lot of others.”
After they married in fall 1880, the Roosevelts moved into the home of Theodore’s mother, Martha Bulloch Roosevelt, in New York City. There, they lived the life of wealthy young socialites, going to fancy parties and the opera, and traveling to Europe. When Roosevelt was elected to the New York State Assembly in 1881, they moved to the bustling town of Albany, where the state’s political wire-pullers worked their magic. Roosevelt’s machine politician colleagues derided the rich, Harvard-educated young man as a “dude,” and they tried to ignore his irritating interest in reforming society.
In the summer of 1883, Alice discovered that she was pregnant, and that fall she moved back to New York City to live with her mother-in-law. There she awaited the birth of the child who Theodore was certain would arrive on February 14.
As headstrong as her father, Roosevelt’s daughter beat her father’s prediction by two days. On February 12, Alice gave birth to the couple’s first child, who would be named after her. Roosevelt was at work in Albany and learned the happy news by telegram. But Alice was only “fairly well,” Roosevelt noted. She soon began sliding downhill. She did not recover from the birth; she was suffering from something at the time called “Bright’s Disease,” an unspecified kidney illness.
Roosevelt rushed back to New York City, but by the time he got there at midnight on February 13, Alice was slipping into a coma. Distraught, he held her until he received word that his mother was dangerously ill downstairs. For more than a week, “Mittie” Roosevelt had been sick with typhoid. Roosevelt ran down to her room, where she died shortly after her son got to her bedside. With his mother gone, Roosevelt hurried back to Alice. Only hours later she, too, died.
On February 14, 1884, Roosevelt slashed a heavy black X in his diary and wrote “The light has gone out of my life.” He refused ever to mention Alice again.
Roosevelt’s profound personal tragedy turned out to have national significance. The diseases that killed his wife and mother were diseases of filth and crowding—the hallmarks of the growing Gilded Age American cities. Mittie contracted typhoid from either food or water that had been contaminated by sewage, since New York City did not yet treat or manage either sewage or drinking water. Alice’s disease was probably caused by a strep infection, which incubated in the teeming city’s tenements, where immigrants, whose wages barely kept food on the table, crowded together.
Roosevelt had been interested in urban reform because he worried that incessant work and unhealthy living conditions threatened the ability of young workers to become good citizens. Now, though, it was clear that he, and other rich New Yorkers, had a personal stake in cleaning up the cities and making sure employers paid workers a living wage.
The tragedy gave him a new political identity that enabled him to do just that. Ridiculed as a “dude” in his early career, Roosevelt changed his image in the wake of the events of February 1884. Desperate to bury his feelings for Alice along with her, Roosevelt escaped to Dakota Territory, to a ranch in which he had invested the previous year. There he rode horses, roped cattle, and toyed with the idea of spending the rest of his life as a western rancher. The brutal winter of 1886–1887 changed his mind. Months of blizzards and temperatures as low as –41 degrees killed off 80% of the Dakota cattle herds. More than half of Roosevelt’s cattle died.
Roosevelt decided to go back to eastern politics, but this time, no one would be able to make fun of him as a “dude.” In an era when the independent American cowboy dominated the popular imagination, Roosevelt now had credentials as a westerner. He ran for political office as a western cowboy taking on corruption in the East. And, with that cowboy image, he overtook his eastern rivals.
Eventually, Roosevelt’s successes made establishment politicians so nervous they tried to bury him in what was then seen as the graveyard of the vice presidency. Then, in 1901, an unemployed steelworker assassinated President William McKinley and put Roosevelt—“that damned cowboy,” as one of McKinley’s advisers called him—into the White House.
Once there, he worked to clean up the cities and stop the exploitation of workers, backing the urban reforms that were the hallmark of the Progressive Era.
[Photo of Roosevelt’s diary, Library of Congress.]
I have for several years felt what we needed was a President Teddy Roosevelt in our time. Someone with the strength to break up the big tech monopolies who are manipulating people with algorithms to get clicks for their greed rather than any consideration for the well being of young girls and people vulnerable to misinformation. Someone who would address the climate the way Roosevelt created the National Parks and our natural resources. Someone would would measure America by its Well Being Index rather than its Gross National Greed. Someone also who would protect the rights of all of us, this time. What happened to that moment after George Floyd's murder when many of us wanted to come together and make a movement for a new multi-cultural democracy where all of would thrive and support each other. Personally, I think it is time for a new women's movement to restore women's rights and the rights of all of us. Love to quote Benjamin Franklin on "Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are." I'm outraged. How about you?
Valentine's Day is very special for me. In 1965 my best friend asked me to be his Best Man and attend his engagement party. As encouragement he told me that "Tammy" would be there, a beautiful bomb shell and friend of his fiance Holly. After meeting Holly's folks in the kitchen my best friend nudged me with, "Let's go meet 'Tammy'!" On the way we stumbled across a young woman filling out engagement notices while sitting "indian" style on the hallway floor. My best friend paused to introduce Holly's Maid of Honor, Marti Belcher. Marti looked up at me with a mouth full of braces, horn rimmed glasses, and her hair in a French Curl. I looked into her beautiful green eyes and lost any intention of going any further down the hall. Within moments of talking with her, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with woman. That was February 14th, 1965. We will be celebrating our 57th year together tomorrow.