Last year, just after my husband died of ALS, I made a plan for what I needed to do going forward. My goal was simple: grieve my loss, care for our daughters and help them recover- and not get lost in depression.
There were four steps in the plan. First, adopt a dog again. Fresh air and exercise are helpful in staving off depression and a…
Last year, just after my husband died of ALS, I made a plan for what I needed to do going forward. My goal was simple: grieve my loss, care for our daughters and help them recover- and not get lost in depression.
There were four steps in the plan. First, adopt a dog again. Fresh air and exercise are helpful in staving off depression and anxiety and dogs- and their people- need exercise. Second, go back to being an artist-I make and sell bead woven jewelry. Third, go back to school-I had started a masters program 35 years ago; it was time to finish what I’d started. And fourth, get back to spending more time with friends and family.
Adopting a dog proved to be a real challenge-Kiri was advertised as a lab mix. Yes, she is mostly black, short haired and has amber eyes. But she didn’t act like a lab so I did a DNA test on her. Turns out, she is half mountain cur, a third pit bull, and the rest is mostly German Shepard. Three big, active, reactive, aggressive, protective breeds. Yikes! I’d wanted an exercise buddy. I adopted an Olympic level athlete!
Going back to working my art was much easier- and my sales at area art fairs have been off the charts. But going back to school in the midst of a pandemic was impossible-at least short term.
Fortunately, I found Dr. Richardson’s LFAA- and this community. And as others have said so often, I have learned more American history here, and more about how to be active in protecting our democracy from all of you than I ever thought possible. I also found a whole group of people I have come to think of as friends- who care as deeply about preserving democracy as I do and so inadvertently found a way towards my fourth goal-time with family and friends.
All of you have my deepest gratitude for taking me to school with you this year. Thank you! And special thanks to Buddy Poland for the beautiful photos. Now its time to go to the dog park. We’ve miles to go…….
Such a devastating loss and still you're moving forward. What an amazing example of resilience you are for your children. May the new year bring you joy and continued purpose. ❤️
Thanks so much for this Diane. My girls, ages 35 and 29, are amazing young women and very resourceful in their own right. When one of us stumbles, the others help us get up. Together, we’ll make it. 💕
It has been a wonderful morning with subscribers, the comments, music and love.
Sheila B, your goals: mourning, care for daughters, exercise with dog Kiri, walks, art, friends and family, along with embracing of us all -- thank you. Being with you here this Sunday morning, Sheila, has brought more light to the day.
Thank you, Sheila, for your great comments. I would like you to add to number two - another part of art, and that is "Writing," for that is another thing at which you are good.
I was so taken with your post. Yesterday evening, a friend who very suddenly and tragically lost his significant other to a massive heart attack (she was only 53 and had no symptoms) called me to ask me "a dumb question." Of course, it wasn't dumb at all, it was an excuse to talk about Susie and his experiences with the grief journey and a whole host of other topics. He has inherited the responsibility of caring for her massive collection of rescued cats (down to 21 now); she could never turn away from a lost or injured cat. So, that is keeping him busy. He's also doing a lot of self help through reading about loss and grief, and now, he has decided to pursue a lifelong dream to play the piano! We had a lot of laughs, a long, long and deep discussion of dealing with personal pain and the need to go forward. I have too much experience, as a widow and having recently lost a brother, but with experience comes responsibility to reach out. As I told him, it helps me to listen and learn and share as much as it helps another. The holidays don't HAVE to be dismal for those who have lost loved ones if we reach out to each other and hold each other close in love.
Oh, the dumb question: was my Christmas tree actually decorated with ornaments that students had made and given me over the years? If so, he wanted to encourage his sister to use her student ornaments this way. My tree (not up this year due to two playful cats) was literally covered with hundreds of grubby little ornaments and if you backed away from it and squinted, it was actually quite pretty!
Good for you on your journey! Keep the faith! Keep moving forward!
I’m laughing a little at your wonderful description of a Christmas tree covered with “hundreds of grubby little ornaments.” Glen was a retired shop teacher so our tree has plenty of grubby little wood ornaments, lol. Fortunately, I have been able to balance the grubby just a bit with a few hand woven beaded ornaments. Smile.
I also know the pain of losing a brother-I’m ever so sorry.
Thanks for the encouragement and good wishes. Right back at you!
Sheila, what a wonderful piece of writing! Depression act like a maelstrom where the vortex keeps pulling you down. By taking proactive measures, you are avoiding being sucked in. I agree that Heather's readers become a supportive community that adds a historical basis for taking steps to keep our democracy. You can give others strength.
Love the appellation "mountain cur" for the generously diverse basic hound dog (who but a hound could manage to come out one-third?). Is that an official breed, Sheila, or did you make it up? Cheers to you and Kiri....
Lol. Yes, official breed and she definitely lives up to the appellation. Bred for hunting small rodents and also kept as farm dogs. The rescue I worked with brought her back from a large “kill” shelter in Alabama. She has quickly learned the joys of being a couch potato, and learned-the hard way- to respect my cats. We are still working on greeting people without jumping up and nipping at them. 65 lbs lunging at your face is a bit scary. Cur is not usually the first word I use when she misbehaves but it works…..🤣
Bless you Sheila. I am so glad you have joined our family. Thank goodness for us finding Heather. I have learned so much in the 2 years that I have been one of her readers. Heather is a few months younger than my daughter, Lori. I love reading comments. I am on vacation in Florida until mid January when I return home so it is hard to be connected. I do try to catch up when I have a chance. Happy Holidays....and life does more forward after the death of your husband. I lost mine at the age of 31 back in 1974. I have survived! Yes, I have made a lot of mistakes along the way! Hugs
Last year, just after my husband died of ALS, I made a plan for what I needed to do going forward. My goal was simple: grieve my loss, care for our daughters and help them recover- and not get lost in depression.
There were four steps in the plan. First, adopt a dog again. Fresh air and exercise are helpful in staving off depression and anxiety and dogs- and their people- need exercise. Second, go back to being an artist-I make and sell bead woven jewelry. Third, go back to school-I had started a masters program 35 years ago; it was time to finish what I’d started. And fourth, get back to spending more time with friends and family.
Adopting a dog proved to be a real challenge-Kiri was advertised as a lab mix. Yes, she is mostly black, short haired and has amber eyes. But she didn’t act like a lab so I did a DNA test on her. Turns out, she is half mountain cur, a third pit bull, and the rest is mostly German Shepard. Three big, active, reactive, aggressive, protective breeds. Yikes! I’d wanted an exercise buddy. I adopted an Olympic level athlete!
Going back to working my art was much easier- and my sales at area art fairs have been off the charts. But going back to school in the midst of a pandemic was impossible-at least short term.
Fortunately, I found Dr. Richardson’s LFAA- and this community. And as others have said so often, I have learned more American history here, and more about how to be active in protecting our democracy from all of you than I ever thought possible. I also found a whole group of people I have come to think of as friends- who care as deeply about preserving democracy as I do and so inadvertently found a way towards my fourth goal-time with family and friends.
All of you have my deepest gratitude for taking me to school with you this year. Thank you! And special thanks to Buddy Poland for the beautiful photos. Now its time to go to the dog park. We’ve miles to go…….
Such a devastating loss and still you're moving forward. What an amazing example of resilience you are for your children. May the new year bring you joy and continued purpose. ❤️
Thanks so much for this Diane. My girls, ages 35 and 29, are amazing young women and very resourceful in their own right. When one of us stumbles, the others help us get up. Together, we’ll make it. 💕
It has been a wonderful morning with subscribers, the comments, music and love.
Sheila B, your goals: mourning, care for daughters, exercise with dog Kiri, walks, art, friends and family, along with embracing of us all -- thank you. Being with you here this Sunday morning, Sheila, has brought more light to the day.
Thank you, Sheila, for your great comments. I would like you to add to number two - another part of art, and that is "Writing," for that is another thing at which you are good.
Right back at you Richard- and thank you!
I was so taken with your post. Yesterday evening, a friend who very suddenly and tragically lost his significant other to a massive heart attack (she was only 53 and had no symptoms) called me to ask me "a dumb question." Of course, it wasn't dumb at all, it was an excuse to talk about Susie and his experiences with the grief journey and a whole host of other topics. He has inherited the responsibility of caring for her massive collection of rescued cats (down to 21 now); she could never turn away from a lost or injured cat. So, that is keeping him busy. He's also doing a lot of self help through reading about loss and grief, and now, he has decided to pursue a lifelong dream to play the piano! We had a lot of laughs, a long, long and deep discussion of dealing with personal pain and the need to go forward. I have too much experience, as a widow and having recently lost a brother, but with experience comes responsibility to reach out. As I told him, it helps me to listen and learn and share as much as it helps another. The holidays don't HAVE to be dismal for those who have lost loved ones if we reach out to each other and hold each other close in love.
Oh, the dumb question: was my Christmas tree actually decorated with ornaments that students had made and given me over the years? If so, he wanted to encourage his sister to use her student ornaments this way. My tree (not up this year due to two playful cats) was literally covered with hundreds of grubby little ornaments and if you backed away from it and squinted, it was actually quite pretty!
Good for you on your journey! Keep the faith! Keep moving forward!
I’m laughing a little at your wonderful description of a Christmas tree covered with “hundreds of grubby little ornaments.” Glen was a retired shop teacher so our tree has plenty of grubby little wood ornaments, lol. Fortunately, I have been able to balance the grubby just a bit with a few hand woven beaded ornaments. Smile.
I also know the pain of losing a brother-I’m ever so sorry.
Thanks for the encouragement and good wishes. Right back at you!
Grubby with love!
🫂
What is the little box?
Two people hugging as you and Sheila, analogous to us all in the circle of caring.
Thank you! I have learned something new - again!
Such a beautiful tribute to yourself and your core values. Keep on keeping on, dear friend (thanks to LFAA).
Sheila, what a wonderful piece of writing! Depression act like a maelstrom where the vortex keeps pulling you down. By taking proactive measures, you are avoiding being sucked in. I agree that Heather's readers become a supportive community that adds a historical basis for taking steps to keep our democracy. You can give others strength.
🐾 miles, miles, miles 🐾
Yes, exactly! 😎
☮️💟 All the best, Sheila—you deserve it.
Love the appellation "mountain cur" for the generously diverse basic hound dog (who but a hound could manage to come out one-third?). Is that an official breed, Sheila, or did you make it up? Cheers to you and Kiri....
Lol. Yes, official breed and she definitely lives up to the appellation. Bred for hunting small rodents and also kept as farm dogs. The rescue I worked with brought her back from a large “kill” shelter in Alabama. She has quickly learned the joys of being a couch potato, and learned-the hard way- to respect my cats. We are still working on greeting people without jumping up and nipping at them. 65 lbs lunging at your face is a bit scary. Cur is not usually the first word I use when she misbehaves but it works…..🤣
👍
Bless you Sheila. I am so glad you have joined our family. Thank goodness for us finding Heather. I have learned so much in the 2 years that I have been one of her readers. Heather is a few months younger than my daughter, Lori. I love reading comments. I am on vacation in Florida until mid January when I return home so it is hard to be connected. I do try to catch up when I have a chance. Happy Holidays....and life does more forward after the death of your husband. I lost mine at the age of 31 back in 1974. I have survived! Yes, I have made a lot of mistakes along the way! Hugs
Hoping you find some peaceful moments for yourself from wonderful memories.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️