I am making a brief appearance here to thank each and every one of you who participated in my journey these past 4 years.
My father passed yesterday evening. As you know, he has played an outsized role in my life. It’s the end of an era. My wife and I and doggie are settled (finally) in a new home in Port Angeles, Washin…
I am making a brief appearance here to thank each and every one of you who participated in my journey these past 4 years.
My father passed yesterday evening. As you know, he has played an outsized role in my life. It’s the end of an era. My wife and I and doggie are settled (finally) in a new home in Port Angeles, Washington, in a brand new life. It’s like starting over in the middle of your life, but with the same Dodge Ram 2500 and a lot of the same furniture.
I’m thanking you all personally. All of you bore witness. This community was my Dad therapy. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Roland, I am so sorry. My dad passed 11 years ago and I still feel it as acutely now as then. Our lives really do seem to be carved up into eras, and the passing of a parent can really feel like the end of one era and the beginning of another. So it was for me 11 years ago, and so it was yet again last year when my mom passed. As you noted, our lives soldier on and we're surrounded by the same stuff, but we are changed inside. It sounds like you are starting off anew on solid footing with your dad's memory in your heart, and that's a good thing. Take care, and may God be with you and your family.
So sorry about your dad. Its tough getting older and pretty much losing most of your family - mine used to be such a large family, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, - I assume the same for most here. But after all these years, its mainly down to my kids & a few cousins. All those questions I never asked of my folks or grandparents. Now they'll never get answered.
“We are star dust, we are golden, we are billion year old carbon”….that image stays with me as a universal truth. Bearing witness, up close and personal, to the passing of someone we cherish is, how can I say it, a painful blessing. It is true, as they say, someday the cherished wonderful memories take center stage over those that caused pain and angst. Hugs to you and your family & those who loved him. It is a journey.
We're remembering Woodstock through the feeling of those times. Even though she never was actually there, Joni Mitchell's songs like this one have been such a gift.
I have a copy of the movie “Taking Woodstock,” watched it again soon after we moved to Port Angeles. Ang Lee did a beautiful job capturing the spirit of the 60s, that movie is an underground gem.
Dear Roland, continue this healing writing and sharing. We hold you in the light as you live this transition and loss and the time of starting over you describe. Blessings.
Oh, Roland! I was pleasantly surprised to see your name in this forum after what seemed an unusually long “trip”. So sorry for your loss! Alas, our loved ones do not really leave us when they die: they live on forever in our heart, in our soul, and in everything we do. Your father will be by your side wherever life and the Dodge lead you, and always proud of you because you are a kind, wise and honorable man—like he must have been, because the apple… you know.
Wishing you and your wife and doggie many holiday blessings and all the best in this new journey.
❤️❤️❤️ You’re sweet. Yes, I tell people all the time you can’t take it with you, so why does it matter here? The career banker and money aficionado did not see eye-to-eye with me on that subject, that’s for sure. And you’re right, I bet he sees things very differently now. In the last couple years, especially as he approached the end, I kept telling him that life continues beyond the physical. He is a believer in what I call the Lights Out theory: when you leave the room, you turn off the lights, and nothing happens in there anymore. Unh unh. *obnoxious buzzer sound*
My dogs will tell you that when the Lights Go Out, life gets exciting this time of year, as the field mice invade the house and come out from their hiding places behind furniture and under cabinets. Time for a chase. . . .
Of course you have been most valuable here! Your down-to-earth points of view and commentaries are refreshing and enlightening. Never underestimate the power of common sense,Roland! 🤗
How wonderful that you and your wife are starting afresh in Port Angeles, by the way; such a beautiful city with the Olympic Mountains as a backdrop. Godspeed, my friend!
IMHO, they aren’t really “rich”, they just have money. My dad, who passed in 2001, was a boy in the depression and chased “success” (read: money & status) the rest of his life. Much later, after he’d been mostly successful (nice house w/ a pool across from the country club he was a popular member of…not a place I grew up btw), I went to visit him and we had a long heart-felt father-daughter talk. He quoted Peggy Lee, one of his favorite singers, by saying “is that all there is?”…..he’d come, late in life, to realize all that external stuff he’d grasped for did not bring the joy/contentment he assumed it would, and that in the chasing, he’d let slip by the things & times that did. It was a lesson he took to heart the remaining years of his life. May the new chapter of your life be wonder-full.
Barbara, that is not a humble opinion, that is a fact. Wealth has no intrinsic relationship with money. By the way, your father is my father, country club and all.
Thing is, he was never really temperamentally or “spiritually” suited to “the chase”…it’s just what he thought he was supposed to do. He came from really humble beginnings, both parents were immigrants & he rose to be a successful businessman (management) in one of the major utility companies in So Cal. Oddly, his innate human-centered approach was able to have some creativity w/in the constricts of a corporate career—I am ever grateful that he “blossomed” to the degree he could later in life…I told him during that long conversation that he was blessed to get a 2nd chance. He and his wife were raising his step-son’s infant daughter & she, growing up, always called him “dad”…now grown into a lovely woman. I am ever grateful that he got to experience being the dad he was always meant to be. Oy, this takes me down memory lane!!!!
Roland: Peace be to you and your family. Know that you have been a lifeline to me, especially in those early days as you brought clarity to the chaos we found ourselves in. As you reflect on your father's life, I pray that you will see the goodness he instilled in you. For we in this community most assuredly have benefited from that goodness as you have paid it forward to each of us.
Hello Lynell, you magnificent person you. You have been as great a gift to me as I have been to you. Muddling our way through that horrible turmoil together. This community has been a tremendous support during very rough times, and my dad’s Trumpy ways certainly provided me no solace. I will reflect on your words, although it ain’t easy to love a man who is so on the wrong side of history.
Roland, we just went through this with my trumpy father-in-law whose vascular dementia turned him into an angry, bitter, hateful man. My wife is having a hard time with this transition so I have a front row seat to witness the odd dichotomy of a loss and a blessing. Holding you in my heart.
This is SO hard….I have a dear friend whose, at the time, domestic partner (same sex marriage was not legal then in CA) was finally (!) diagnosed with a brain tumor that eventually affected his whole personality….here was an amazing, kind and thoughtful man, an intrepid & curious explorer & sailor, who traveled the south seas & up the Amazon & was treated by shamans there & founded a school on some far away island…to devolve into someone he himself would never recognize—the mind, really, is an odd thing. It is with great credit and humility that my friend was steadfast, however difficult it was, to give his partner a dignified and supportive transition to “whatever comes next”.
I have a dear friend from several bands I played in who eventually had to stop playing due to a series of strokes. She, her wife, and their lifelong friend were able to research, and discovered that Sweden’s “death with dignity “ laws cover dementia as one of the appropriate triggers for assisted suicide. When her dementia got “bad enough”, they traveled to Sweden and she got to choose her exit. They kept her decline and their subsequent decisions private, but did note it in her obituary.
Ally, I have known a few folks who have chosen their own time and method to “shuffle off this mortal coil” but it was not realized by others until after it had happened, thus robbing them of a loving surround and expressions of heartfelt fare-thee-well. I am steadfastly pro-choice, after a person’s careful & informed consideration, in this matter as well.
With special thoughts for you, Roland. Both my parents have been gone for a very long time and I still sit the the change that brought. I am glad you are finding a new home in Port Angeles, in the beautiful state of Washington.
Roland--so very sorry for your loss of your beloved father. You are so fortunate to have had him for a Dad. My husband was similarly blessed, but lost him to cancer at the age of 67 (26 years ago). Hubby was grief stricken for a couple of years. Please take care now and be kind to yourself.
It’s so strange that I have been wondering why we haven’t seen anything from you it seems for quite awhile, so thank you for sharing your sad news. May your loving memories give you peace and comfort.❤️
Several reasons: I had to retire from my truck driving job when we left California, so now I sleep normal hours and am rarely awake when Heather’s piece drops. By the time I respond, my reply is down in the hundreds. Second, moving has been very hard. I’ve been too exhausted for anything else. Burned out most days. Now the dust is settling, finally, so I’m not so overwhelmed and exhausted.
I hope, once true rest catches up with you, that you take the opportunity to explore the wonders of the Pacific Northwest…. In my life if I had zigged rather than zagged, I would be living there. I sometimes wonder on the “what if’s”. I have visited there several times and felt a visceral affinity, but for me at my age now the time for a big move has passed. Still I feel I am lucky to live in a slice of paradise in far far northern rural CA (Humboldt Co) and am content to bloom where I am planted these 50+ years. A neighbor recently relocated to Washington state & I love her FB (use it sparingly) posts of her adventures (she’s in the natural resources field)….helps me be there vicariously….and adds to my “what if” musings….. Hoping you find marvelous adventures!!!!
Thank you, Hon. That’s the plan, at least for my wife. She was looking at Arcata before nixing that idea, and now we are in Port Angeles. She feels like she’s died and gone to heaven. We certainly plan on exploring, the nature up here is exceptional. For me, now, all I can think about is my story project, the book and movie. I haven’t been able to work on it much this year, but starting in January that will become front and center. An imaginary world where all of humanity works together and in harmony with nature, in harmony with the planet, is really the only thing that matters right now. That’s another reason I have withdrawn from here. Society’s dramas just seem so petty and inconsequential when human civilization is ruining its home. Overpopulation is the biggest problem these days, and humanity is facing an existential threat: from 2 billion when my parents were born around 1930, to 3 billion when I was born around 1960, to 8 billion today. Sheesh.
Roland, I hold you in my heart. I am so sorry for your loss. My Dad died several years ago and sadly we were never close and never really knew each other. So I am happy your Dad was a big part of your life and you will have those memories and the love to continue living on in your heart. Take care my friend.
My Dad and I lived in the same town for the final 23 years of his life, because my parents pulled up stakes in Arlington Heights IL and moved to northern CA for their retirement, so we were all close physically. And that was the excruciating part, because I don’t think he ever knew me. I take after my mother’s side.
Roland, I am late to the party here. You’ve been one of my personal mainstays on this page, and I knew you were moving/in transition space/etc. I have missed your insights and explanations, especially when dealing with the newest round of trolls/agitators that have showed up the past few months.
Please accept my condolences on the loss of your father, and as you go through the grieving process as it comes. We lost my F-I-L in September, and he sounds similar politically to your Dad. It was rocky at the end, and the grief/anger process is uncomfortable. I’m coming up on the 35th anniversary of my Dad’s death, and it feels extra sharp this year.
I appreciate full well what you are saying about me being a mainstay for you. It’s nice to have spiritual allies, and I have more friends and spiritual allies here than anywhere else in my life. Obviously you are one of them, and so many of the replies here on this page are from people I love and feel a kinship with. But for some reason I don’t feel called to be here on Heather’s page anymore. Hopefully next month I can begin working on my story again. To me, all the little petty problems in the world pale next to the overarching and vital issue of overpopulation. Human civilization’s growth from 2 billion people in 1930 (around the time when my parents were born) to 3 billion in 1960 (I was born in 1958) to 8b now, that’s the central issue of our time. We are facing an existential threat, because we are facing an inexorable confrontation with the planet itself. Human development is out of control. My story project is a means of rallying people, in a joyful way, to redeem our collective rel’ship with the home itself, Planet Earth, the Green Empress. The details of social politics are looking more petty and trivial to me all the time. Perhaps I will devote my Substack page to this subject. My wife, and fate, moved us up here for a reason. The old impediments and shackles in my life have fallen away, even my dad has retired, I think in part because it frees me to work on this full-time.
Hello Ally, a true pleasure to see you, as always. I’m sorry about the trolls/agitators, but anything has to be easier than those goons from early to mid 2021. Yes, you’re in the right arena when you talk about anger. It’s not a loss for me, having my dad go, I will never miss him. No way. It’s a combination relief and trouble spot, because it’s highlighting differences between me and one of my sisters. Naturally that’s the sister that’s closest to him, the one that leans just a little more toward being conservative.
Oh Roland, your relationship with your dad was like tug-of-war. No matter what, he was your parent and you were his son. We miss you in CA but it seems that you and your wife have found contentment. I wish you the very very best and your dad, a peaceful journey.
Roland, I'm coming to your post many hours and many responses later. May you take comfort from the wise, caring words of your friends here, and may you find peace and much happiness in the years ahead in your changed life.
Hello sweet person, I have a reply now. It’s a duplicate of a reply to Ally House.
For some reason I don’t feel called to be here on Heather’s page anymore. Hopefully next month I can begin working on my story again. To me, all the little petty problems in the world pale next to the over-riding and core issue of overpopulation. Human civilization’s growth from 2 billion people in 1930 (around the time when my parents were born) to 3 billion in 1960 (I was born in 1958) to 8b now, that’s the central issue of our time. We are facing an existential threat, because we are facing an inexorable confrontation with the planet itself. Human development is out of control. My story project is a means of rallying people, in a joyful way, to redeem our collective rel’ship with the home itself, Planet Earth, the Green Empress. The details of social politics are looking more petty and trivial to me all the time. Perhaps I will devote my Substack page to this subject. My wife, and fate, moved us up here for a reason. The old impediments and shackles in my life have fallen away, even my dad has retired, I think in part because it frees me to work on this full-time.
Dear Roland, so good to get a word from you, in any circumstances whatsoever. Your father has gone to his rest, and in your new life he'll always be with you unseen. Warmest wishes to you and your family.
Sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in 2009. While I miss him every day, I understand the cycle of life moves forward with or without you. Godspeed to you.
My latest post worth reading is on Lucian Truscott’s site, an explanation of cryptocurrency. Since my dad was a career banker, I managed to sneak in a mention of him.
Hello Everyone 🥰
I am making a brief appearance here to thank each and every one of you who participated in my journey these past 4 years.
My father passed yesterday evening. As you know, he has played an outsized role in my life. It’s the end of an era. My wife and I and doggie are settled (finally) in a new home in Port Angeles, Washington, in a brand new life. It’s like starting over in the middle of your life, but with the same Dodge Ram 2500 and a lot of the same furniture.
I’m thanking you all personally. All of you bore witness. This community was my Dad therapy. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Roland
Roland, I am so sorry. My dad passed 11 years ago and I still feel it as acutely now as then. Our lives really do seem to be carved up into eras, and the passing of a parent can really feel like the end of one era and the beginning of another. So it was for me 11 years ago, and so it was yet again last year when my mom passed. As you noted, our lives soldier on and we're surrounded by the same stuff, but we are changed inside. It sounds like you are starting off anew on solid footing with your dad's memory in your heart, and that's a good thing. Take care, and may God be with you and your family.
I miss my mother every single day.
Me too, and my dad.
Me too.
Thank you Bruce 🙏
So sorry about your dad. Its tough getting older and pretty much losing most of your family - mine used to be such a large family, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, - I assume the same for most here. But after all these years, its mainly down to my kids & a few cousins. All those questions I never asked of my folks or grandparents. Now they'll never get answered.
True, lots of good "therapy" here.
“We are star dust, we are golden, we are billion year old carbon”….that image stays with me as a universal truth. Bearing witness, up close and personal, to the passing of someone we cherish is, how can I say it, a painful blessing. It is true, as they say, someday the cherished wonderful memories take center stage over those that caused pain and angst. Hugs to you and your family & those who loved him. It is a journey.
Crosby, Stills and Nash:
https://youtu.be/Nivr4YZzzME
Thank you so much!
(although I think of all of us to be without form...as beautiful minds that never die)
Perfect 💫
Are you kidding me?!? Try this version instead.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEBmKi2xmoU&ab_channel=JoniMitchell-Topic
Always loved (and love) Joni Mitchell!
We're remembering Woodstock through the feeling of those times. Even though she never was actually there, Joni Mitchell's songs like this one have been such a gift.
My wife is a huge Joni Mitchell fan. She went to high school in LA with people from that circle (although Joni is from Canada originally)
and Neil Young is also a Canadian...
I have a copy of the movie “Taking Woodstock,” watched it again soon after we moved to Port Angeles. Ang Lee did a beautiful job capturing the spirit of the 60s, that movie is an underground gem.
We are! We are stardust ✨✨✨✨✨
Beautifully said, Barbara
Dear Roland, continue this healing writing and sharing. We hold you in the light as you live this transition and loss and the time of starting over you describe. Blessings.
🙏❤️
Oh, Roland! I was pleasantly surprised to see your name in this forum after what seemed an unusually long “trip”. So sorry for your loss! Alas, our loved ones do not really leave us when they die: they live on forever in our heart, in our soul, and in everything we do. Your father will be by your side wherever life and the Dodge lead you, and always proud of you because you are a kind, wise and honorable man—like he must have been, because the apple… you know.
Wishing you and your wife and doggie many holiday blessings and all the best in this new journey.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
“.. always proud of you…”
I wish. He thinks I’m a loser because I didn’t become a successful millionaire.
You can’t take the money with you, Roland. I bet he sees things differently now.
Real success is measured differently. Take it from those here whose respect you have earned: you are worth a million bucks!
❤️❤️❤️ You’re sweet. Yes, I tell people all the time you can’t take it with you, so why does it matter here? The career banker and money aficionado did not see eye-to-eye with me on that subject, that’s for sure. And you’re right, I bet he sees things very differently now. In the last couple years, especially as he approached the end, I kept telling him that life continues beyond the physical. He is a believer in what I call the Lights Out theory: when you leave the room, you turn off the lights, and nothing happens in there anymore. Unh unh. *obnoxious buzzer sound*
My dogs will tell you that when the Lights Go Out, life gets exciting this time of year, as the field mice invade the house and come out from their hiding places behind furniture and under cabinets. Time for a chase. . . .
Standing with you, Rose! Roland, you’re worth millions of the real currency❣️
Wow. Thank you Ashley 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Very kind of you, Rose, to inform me how valuable I have been here. I’m not sure I can ever know that, so it’s very generous of you to share it 🙏🙏🥰
Of course you have been most valuable here! Your down-to-earth points of view and commentaries are refreshing and enlightening. Never underestimate the power of common sense,Roland! 🤗
How wonderful that you and your wife are starting afresh in Port Angeles, by the way; such a beautiful city with the Olympic Mountains as a backdrop. Godspeed, my friend!
IMHO, they aren’t really “rich”, they just have money. My dad, who passed in 2001, was a boy in the depression and chased “success” (read: money & status) the rest of his life. Much later, after he’d been mostly successful (nice house w/ a pool across from the country club he was a popular member of…not a place I grew up btw), I went to visit him and we had a long heart-felt father-daughter talk. He quoted Peggy Lee, one of his favorite singers, by saying “is that all there is?”…..he’d come, late in life, to realize all that external stuff he’d grasped for did not bring the joy/contentment he assumed it would, and that in the chasing, he’d let slip by the things & times that did. It was a lesson he took to heart the remaining years of his life. May the new chapter of your life be wonder-full.
Barbara, that is not a humble opinion, that is a fact. Wealth has no intrinsic relationship with money. By the way, your father is my father, country club and all.
Thing is, he was never really temperamentally or “spiritually” suited to “the chase”…it’s just what he thought he was supposed to do. He came from really humble beginnings, both parents were immigrants & he rose to be a successful businessman (management) in one of the major utility companies in So Cal. Oddly, his innate human-centered approach was able to have some creativity w/in the constricts of a corporate career—I am ever grateful that he “blossomed” to the degree he could later in life…I told him during that long conversation that he was blessed to get a 2nd chance. He and his wife were raising his step-son’s infant daughter & she, growing up, always called him “dad”…now grown into a lovely woman. I am ever grateful that he got to experience being the dad he was always meant to be. Oy, this takes me down memory lane!!!!
Roland: Peace be to you and your family. Know that you have been a lifeline to me, especially in those early days as you brought clarity to the chaos we found ourselves in. As you reflect on your father's life, I pray that you will see the goodness he instilled in you. For we in this community most assuredly have benefited from that goodness as you have paid it forward to each of us.
Hello Lynell, you magnificent person you. You have been as great a gift to me as I have been to you. Muddling our way through that horrible turmoil together. This community has been a tremendous support during very rough times, and my dad’s Trumpy ways certainly provided me no solace. I will reflect on your words, although it ain’t easy to love a man who is so on the wrong side of history.
Easier to love the man that helped bring Roland into this world.
Godspeed to your dad and safe passage to you and fam into new phase.
You are fabulous, Roland.
Love 💜
You know I have always loved you, Christine. You are a super, super special woman. Brilliant, wise beyond belief.
Thank you Christine, you wonderful sweetheart, that’s really kind of you.
I think Christine said it best: "Easier to love the man that helped bring Roland into this world."
Love you!
Roland, we just went through this with my trumpy father-in-law whose vascular dementia turned him into an angry, bitter, hateful man. My wife is having a hard time with this transition so I have a front row seat to witness the odd dichotomy of a loss and a blessing. Holding you in my heart.
This is SO hard….I have a dear friend whose, at the time, domestic partner (same sex marriage was not legal then in CA) was finally (!) diagnosed with a brain tumor that eventually affected his whole personality….here was an amazing, kind and thoughtful man, an intrepid & curious explorer & sailor, who traveled the south seas & up the Amazon & was treated by shamans there & founded a school on some far away island…to devolve into someone he himself would never recognize—the mind, really, is an odd thing. It is with great credit and humility that my friend was steadfast, however difficult it was, to give his partner a dignified and supportive transition to “whatever comes next”.
I have a dear friend from several bands I played in who eventually had to stop playing due to a series of strokes. She, her wife, and their lifelong friend were able to research, and discovered that Sweden’s “death with dignity “ laws cover dementia as one of the appropriate triggers for assisted suicide. When her dementia got “bad enough”, they traveled to Sweden and she got to choose her exit. They kept her decline and their subsequent decisions private, but did note it in her obituary.
I wish your friends had had that option.
Ally, I have known a few folks who have chosen their own time and method to “shuffle off this mortal coil” but it was not realized by others until after it had happened, thus robbing them of a loving surround and expressions of heartfelt fare-thee-well. I am steadfastly pro-choice, after a person’s careful & informed consideration, in this matter as well.
Thank you, my Love. (for holding me in your heart)
With special thoughts for you, Roland. Both my parents have been gone for a very long time and I still sit the the change that brought. I am glad you are finding a new home in Port Angeles, in the beautiful state of Washington.
Roland--so very sorry for your loss of your beloved father. You are so fortunate to have had him for a Dad. My husband was similarly blessed, but lost him to cancer at the age of 67 (26 years ago). Hubby was grief stricken for a couple of years. Please take care now and be kind to yourself.
It’s so strange that I have been wondering why we haven’t seen anything from you it seems for quite awhile, so thank you for sharing your sad news. May your loving memories give you peace and comfort.❤️
Several reasons: I had to retire from my truck driving job when we left California, so now I sleep normal hours and am rarely awake when Heather’s piece drops. By the time I respond, my reply is down in the hundreds. Second, moving has been very hard. I’ve been too exhausted for anything else. Burned out most days. Now the dust is settling, finally, so I’m not so overwhelmed and exhausted.
So many transitions. Wishing you deep, clean breathes through all of them. We don’t “talk” much, but I am still glad to see your name!
You’re sweet. Thank you. 😘
Deep clean breaths are the thing I could use most in this world.
I hope, once true rest catches up with you, that you take the opportunity to explore the wonders of the Pacific Northwest…. In my life if I had zigged rather than zagged, I would be living there. I sometimes wonder on the “what if’s”. I have visited there several times and felt a visceral affinity, but for me at my age now the time for a big move has passed. Still I feel I am lucky to live in a slice of paradise in far far northern rural CA (Humboldt Co) and am content to bloom where I am planted these 50+ years. A neighbor recently relocated to Washington state & I love her FB (use it sparingly) posts of her adventures (she’s in the natural resources field)….helps me be there vicariously….and adds to my “what if” musings….. Hoping you find marvelous adventures!!!!
Thank you, Hon. That’s the plan, at least for my wife. She was looking at Arcata before nixing that idea, and now we are in Port Angeles. She feels like she’s died and gone to heaven. We certainly plan on exploring, the nature up here is exceptional. For me, now, all I can think about is my story project, the book and movie. I haven’t been able to work on it much this year, but starting in January that will become front and center. An imaginary world where all of humanity works together and in harmony with nature, in harmony with the planet, is really the only thing that matters right now. That’s another reason I have withdrawn from here. Society’s dramas just seem so petty and inconsequential when human civilization is ruining its home. Overpopulation is the biggest problem these days, and humanity is facing an existential threat: from 2 billion when my parents were born around 1930, to 3 billion when I was born around 1960, to 8 billion today. Sheesh.
Roland, I hold you in my heart. I am so sorry for your loss. My Dad died several years ago and sadly we were never close and never really knew each other. So I am happy your Dad was a big part of your life and you will have those memories and the love to continue living on in your heart. Take care my friend.
So sweet of you, Karen.
My Dad and I lived in the same town for the final 23 years of his life, because my parents pulled up stakes in Arlington Heights IL and moved to northern CA for their retirement, so we were all close physically. And that was the excruciating part, because I don’t think he ever knew me. I take after my mother’s side.
Best wishes for your new life! And putting the past to rest. Sending peaceful energy to you and your wife and your doggie.
😘
Roland, I am late to the party here. You’ve been one of my personal mainstays on this page, and I knew you were moving/in transition space/etc. I have missed your insights and explanations, especially when dealing with the newest round of trolls/agitators that have showed up the past few months.
Please accept my condolences on the loss of your father, and as you go through the grieving process as it comes. We lost my F-I-L in September, and he sounds similar politically to your Dad. It was rocky at the end, and the grief/anger process is uncomfortable. I’m coming up on the 35th anniversary of my Dad’s death, and it feels extra sharp this year.
Ally, I made a few edits, of course it’s “billions” not “millions”
I appreciate full well what you are saying about me being a mainstay for you. It’s nice to have spiritual allies, and I have more friends and spiritual allies here than anywhere else in my life. Obviously you are one of them, and so many of the replies here on this page are from people I love and feel a kinship with. But for some reason I don’t feel called to be here on Heather’s page anymore. Hopefully next month I can begin working on my story again. To me, all the little petty problems in the world pale next to the overarching and vital issue of overpopulation. Human civilization’s growth from 2 billion people in 1930 (around the time when my parents were born) to 3 billion in 1960 (I was born in 1958) to 8b now, that’s the central issue of our time. We are facing an existential threat, because we are facing an inexorable confrontation with the planet itself. Human development is out of control. My story project is a means of rallying people, in a joyful way, to redeem our collective rel’ship with the home itself, Planet Earth, the Green Empress. The details of social politics are looking more petty and trivial to me all the time. Perhaps I will devote my Substack page to this subject. My wife, and fate, moved us up here for a reason. The old impediments and shackles in my life have fallen away, even my dad has retired, I think in part because it frees me to work on this full-time.
Hello Ally, a true pleasure to see you, as always. I’m sorry about the trolls/agitators, but anything has to be easier than those goons from early to mid 2021. Yes, you’re in the right arena when you talk about anger. It’s not a loss for me, having my dad go, I will never miss him. No way. It’s a combination relief and trouble spot, because it’s highlighting differences between me and one of my sisters. Naturally that’s the sister that’s closest to him, the one that leans just a little more toward being conservative.
Oh Roland, your relationship with your dad was like tug-of-war. No matter what, he was your parent and you were his son. We miss you in CA but it seems that you and your wife have found contentment. I wish you the very very best and your dad, a peaceful journey.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you Marlene. My rel’ship with my dad has been brutal for me, as you know.
Roland, I'm coming to your post many hours and many responses later. May you take comfort from the wise, caring words of your friends here, and may you find peace and much happiness in the years ahead in your changed life.
So kind of you, Mim ❤️
❤️
So sorry to read of your loss Roland. Do continue to spend some time here if you will.
Hello sweet person, I have a reply now. It’s a duplicate of a reply to Ally House.
For some reason I don’t feel called to be here on Heather’s page anymore. Hopefully next month I can begin working on my story again. To me, all the little petty problems in the world pale next to the over-riding and core issue of overpopulation. Human civilization’s growth from 2 billion people in 1930 (around the time when my parents were born) to 3 billion in 1960 (I was born in 1958) to 8b now, that’s the central issue of our time. We are facing an existential threat, because we are facing an inexorable confrontation with the planet itself. Human development is out of control. My story project is a means of rallying people, in a joyful way, to redeem our collective rel’ship with the home itself, Planet Earth, the Green Empress. The details of social politics are looking more petty and trivial to me all the time. Perhaps I will devote my Substack page to this subject. My wife, and fate, moved us up here for a reason. The old impediments and shackles in my life have fallen away, even my dad has retired, I think in part because it frees me to work on this full-time.
Dear Roland, so good to get a word from you, in any circumstances whatsoever. Your father has gone to his rest, and in your new life he'll always be with you unseen. Warmest wishes to you and your family.
Thank you so much, Anne-Louise, so sweet of you. ❤️❤️
Sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in 2009. While I miss him every day, I understand the cycle of life moves forward with or without you. Godspeed to you.
Without or without you
My latest post worth reading is on Lucian Truscott’s site, an explanation of cryptocurrency. Since my dad was a career banker, I managed to sneak in a mention of him.
https://luciantruscott.substack.com/p/why-the-hell-did-the-world-need-cryptocurrency