I’m so glad the military is moving so quickly and that the infrastructure bill has passed. I hope the Senate passes it too. So much effort by the Biden Administration seems to get lost in the mess that is our media these days.
Despite Biden Administration’s extraordinary efforts and with all that needs to be fixed in America, I am ashame…
I’m so glad the military is moving so quickly and that the infrastructure bill has passed. I hope the Senate passes it too. So much effort by the Biden Administration seems to get lost in the mess that is our media these days.
Despite Biden Administration’s extraordinary efforts and with all that needs to be fixed in America, I am ashamed to feel frustrated with past and present government that seems to be ignoring my generation - or at least it seems that way from my point of view.
Ronald Reagan’s economic framework began a few years before I graduated high school and I’ve been stuck in its results ever since.
I sink lower and lower in the economic class system every year despite being a college graduate and a hard worker. I’ve worked hard for over 25 years for the same company, but I can never retire because I could never put more than minimum into 401k and still pay my bills. Salary increases get lost in the rising cost of healthcare (and at least a certain amount of employer selfishness). I haven’t had so much as a cost of living increase in almost nine years.
I don’t want or need a handout, but I wish:
-that there was a way to have decent & affordable living in my area (safe enough that I can get from my car to my door without fear, no cockroaches or mold, and my “kitchen” includes a normal sized refrigerator & oven which are at least more than 20 feet away from my bed), because I see living in a van in my future. Single people, particularly women, get punished financially if we don’t earn 100,000/yr, we’re considered low income in the housing world. Minimum monthly rent in my area is at least $2,000/mo (not including parking, maintenance, or utilities) and I can’t even get close to that. I’d move out of state, but my field requires living near airports which usually has expensive cost of living no matter which state. I’d consider changing careers, but I am middle aged and would surely go down in pay.
-that there was a way to retire and not get stuck living on the streets.
-that there was a way to get out of credit card debt without having to live in a van before it’s necessary for a couple of years.
There are a lot of people around my age dealing with the same things and it’s a serious problem that I don’t see being acknowledged. I’m afraid the Reagan’s Rejects group within Generation X is doomed. I just don’t want us to become an expensive problem the government (and taxpayers, God forbid) have to deal with when maybe some smart people can help work on things with taxes, employers, and housing developers, etc to help turn this around.
I am really sorry for dumping my worries here when so many others in America and around the world are suffering terribly.
I’ve gone for therapy (still paying off the bills) only to find out I don’t suffer from Depression although I do get depressed. I have anxiety, more than anything else, but medication is out of the question.
I considered Debt consolidation but found it is a death knell in this economic environment and has been to some degree since before the pandemic.
I tried to see if I could live with family until I pay down debt to a manageable level (about a year), but situations made it not possible.
I used to work two jobs until I acquired chemical sensitivities.
So I just keep getting up and putting one foot in front of the other and working at things.
But like I said, this isn’t only about me. There are lots of us in same situation and I’m hoping it gets recognized and addressed to avoid a larger crisis in the future.
Depression and anxiety are valid responses to a depressing situation that creates anxiety about the outcome. People who don't get depressed and anxious nowadays probably aren't paying attention.
The problem, Diane, isn't that Lisa needs financial-planning help. It's much sadder than that. It's that a quadrant of the baby-boomer generation (my people) has gotten us in such an economic predicament that the "trickle-down" consequences are already painfully apparent in the lives of the millennials. Greed and avarice, which burst on the scene with the sainted/tainted Ronald Reagan, have made life impossibly difficult for many of our own children and nieces and nephews. College debt, costly health care, end of pensions, blood-sucking corporations, miserly employers -- the younger people don't stand a chance. We really need to help them fix this mess.
Many, possibly most of us Boomers are also hanging by a thread. I do not adhere to the overly simplistic and totally inaccurate Blame from the Millennials meme. (I doubt that many Millenials do either.) It is the Reaganomics fans, Milton Friedman uber-capitalists, and self-serving wealthy (almost all are white males) of all ages who squarely have produced this sad, life-denying phenomenon.
And forget subsidize senior housing. You can put your name into most of them and get lucky if they call you within 10 to 15 years. There is not enough housing for this generation moving forward. Cold stop.
SLWeston, I completely agree we have a structural problem that individuals alone can’t repair. I was in no way blaming her.
I’ve lived in deep poverty. My only child developed type I diabetes when she was two. Living on minimum wage as a single parent with no medical insurance was a nightmare. Getting her medical care through county assistance programs was a full time job. My own severe asthma was another barrier to health insurance.
We only survived through the kindness and help of friends. One paid for my real estate license and mentored me that first year. Another helped me buy a reliable used car. It changed our lives and I’ve done my best to pay in forward.
My hope was that Lisa might find such help in her circle of friends. I’ve walked in her shoes and feel her pain.
Wow, Diane, does THAT ever anchor your comment in rich context. Thank you for sharing that. I so appreciate and admire your having had the dignity and humility to accept help from your friends, to build your life on it, and then resolve to share that kindness as best you can.
Stories like yours just thrill me, Diane. Isn't this just how communities, how life should work? Making connections, helping each other, honoring the help we've received by passing it on? You have made my day.
Do I feel a committee coming on? I’m not a leader but I’m a great follower! Should we sit back on our thumbs and just let this happen to us and other generations or is it time to open our mouth’s and make our voices heard?
I have a sister in the same rut. Working in child care, barely making $33K/year, 52 yrs old, grown son in college, divorced, husband reneged on alimony years ago and she cannot afford to fight him, no way up and few options out. She found a small one bedroom for $975/month in a dicey neighborhood. She is making it. But would love to have some to save for her future and for her son.
I am so glad that you wrote this, Lisa. Squeaky wheels on serious issues need to be heard. If not for the grace of something all of us could be in the same position. I have been thinking as I help older friends look at senior housing and how ridiculously expensive it is. I loved visiting my grandmother's expensive senior community in Irvine, CA and wished I could live there. I was too young and the costs were exorbitant. Why can't we create or extend Habitat for Humanity to build build communities tiny houses with communal areas for our aging population and for low-income persons? The smaller footprint is essential for to cope with inequality and and low pay and will help with climate crisis. Or converting the rising defunct malls and business buildings into senior and low income housing. Corporations that make profits that stink to high heaven whilst their employees have to live on food stamps and/or Medicaid is truly unconscionable. They need to pay a living wages that promote dignity as their workers age. Corporate America has run amuck and failed our people. They have swung too far on the capitalist pendulum greedily drooling for more. We need to demand social responsibility on corporations that make obscene profits at the cost of our society. Take all those gigantic political donations and lobbyist payrolls and invest in our people and communities instead.
Lisa, I do think, until my fantasy is realized, it is good to pool money with other people to share housing. I do not agree it is good to live in a van, unless you are healthy, live in a warm climate and can migrate with the seasons. You may need to contact a social worker who can help you with things like Section 8 housing or programs in your area to help people in your situation. Take heart and keep sharing your plight with people in your area. Our little village here in VT has two living places for those who cannot afford much housing. They have to qualify and include veterans, people on disability, and low income people who appear to be mostly middle aged to elderly. We also just built another apartment complex for young families because available, affordable housing and jobs here are compromised. Wishing you success-- you had the guts to write here, that indicates you are willing to reach out, which I encourage you to do locally and wish you the very best.
Habitat For Humanity is very compelling. I think of the Carters. But it's an inefficient and expensive way to provide housing. The benefits of high quality, industrially produced modular and manufactured homes using the benefits automobiles have from quality control, small tolerances which make better fits, and a much lower price than if every auto was built in your driveway by volunteers. There are a LOT of people to house.
Yes, just an expansion of the idea of HFH using more efficient means for multi-housing. There is also a huge wave of more affordable tiny houses or apartments, using recycled materials such old buses, 18-wheeler pods, and trailers. A lot of young and retiring people are creating homes on wheels in very imaginative and very cheap ways. We need to use our imagination to make this happen. I wish I had more time and financing to work on things like this. Saving our democracy is at the forefront at the moment...
It would be sooo easy and efficient for the government to throw box houses up, rows and rows of them, for people who’s financial situation is slipping away ( that’d be me). So so easy. They do it in natural disasters inside of a week. But no they won’t because theyre too focused raking in the dough from big pharma and there vaccines. It’s far more lucrative for them than building reasonable housing for people who are 1 foot from the street.🥾
Great ideas. It’s sadly not possible in our lifetime, but I have hope for future.
FYI: It is rarely possible for chemically sensitive individuals to share living quarters (which is why van is in my future). The chemically sensitive community all have varying levels of sensitivity and varying chemical triggers. Most are too sensitive to work outside the home and some literally cannot even live inside a home.
Many of us tried to pair up, but learned the hard way that one of the hazards is if one party seriously declines and can’t work, the other person sharing a space is going to be responsible for all costs and for nursing roommate back to good health if it is possible.
Everyone in the community live so precariously that we fear sharing space with others. Non-chemically sensitive individuals generally can’t understand the illness and can’t live the necessary way needed to share space with chemically sensitive person.
This is a really difficult situation for a specific population's needs. I am so sorry-- a van does sound like the right thing for you. I lived in a vanagon and on boats for a couple of years. I loved it and the freedom. The whole world can be be your front yard. And there are campgrounds that are not expensive to rent space in. Sharing showering facilities might be problematic for your chemical sensitivities.
I think you are much more informed about your situation and are teaching me that I do not know a lot about the home life and aging of chemically sensitive individuals. Thanks for writing the community here.
I have also lived in my Vanagon for months at a time. While I do well in such a situation, I cringe to think of the impact it may have on other less adapted types.
Just the smell of dryer sheets makes me literally sick, that and perfume, scented cleaning products etc. That so many people don’t know yet that all of these things are basically poison and sit in the brain and the liver is beyond me. Shame on these companies, shame on the government for not banning these horrible chemicals. People, you are selling your children up for horrible diseases in their lifetime if you keep putting clothing on them that you use dryer sheets with. This is not a joke. One scientist said that wearing clothing with dryer sheets and centered laundry detergents on them is actually worse than smoking cigarettes.
People don’t realize how bad many of the ingredients are. Plus, an ingredient is only tested in a particular amount under certain circumstances. The test doesn’t account for when person uses multiple products containing that ingredient. For example, testing for a common fragrance ingredient, won’t account for 70 people wearing 12 scented items containing that ingredient all stuck in an office for 7-10 hours a day, 5 days a week etc, year after year.
Buyers just assume they’re safe, but really, they’re sneakily classified as GRAS/GENERALLY Recognized As Safe, (for most and only under the specific circumstances used for testing).
There’s a decent App called Think Dirty - you scan a cleaning / body care product bar code and if it’s in their database, the ingredients pop up with ratings. And if you click on the ingredients, it tells you a lot about it like what it does and how it affects the body.
We’ve all seen the misinformation/disinformation campaigns and the political game playing. They got a lot of tactics from Advertising & Marketing practices.
Look what Trump, Death Santis, MTG, et al have done for themselves and their political party, do people really think manufacturers lie, cheat, or endanger any less? Advertising & Marketing hides a lot of sins.
Thank you. It is embarrassing to be in such a position and admit it, but I only brought it up because it’s likely going to have greater impact on America in the next 10-25 years.
Lisa, risking vulnerability to tell your story is an act of courage. And sometimes it even helps us to see our own stories more clearly. You are a survivor against terrible odds. Thank you.
Why does a Roommate have to be a woman ? I had a Roommate for 20 yrs that was a guy who just happen to not know how to clean house, or cook, or do laundry or anything else he really just didn’t like to do. I paid $250.00 a month rent . As it turned out we became best friends. He dated , I dated .We had each others backs on everything. If you have an agency that hooks up roommates, does background checks etc. And you mentioned you live close to an Airport.You just might be what a single Pilot is looking for. 2. Not sure who you work for or how you are to request a raise ? But Do It ! The worst that can happen is a denial. 3. Take a day off, go to public and private ( A good charity is the Catholic Charity ) but check your area for any Gov help and charity, $ you can save on food put on that CC payment. We have a ‘Sharing Center here ‘ they will often pay some or all of high electric or water bills. Catholic Charities often will also. There is food pantries also. 4 The best medication for anxiety is simply Breathing. Ever notice women who are big belly PG and they are standing and rubbing the sides of their belly’s in circles. That is not just a thing PG woman do. It has a purpose. It calms the baby and the CB mom. The good news is you don’t NEED to be PG to do it and men can do it also. Just let it all hang out baby and just Breath. We women think we have to hold our belly’s in . I took a friend to get help here once. There was a long line. Everyone was anxious , moody, irritable. So I got everyone in line to do it. They were laughing, smiling and calm in minutes. When it was my friends turn at the counter the worker looked at me and said “ Thank you , can you stay all day ?”. True story. We make ourselves anxious. We can make ourselves Unanxious as well. Try it ! So now you have things to do.❤️🦋
I don’t care if person is male, female, or transitioning. Roommate is highly unlikely for me as most cannot comply with needs of chemically sensitive individual.
I only go to places if I have to. Substitute covid germs for problem chemicals and you might see why leaving safe space other than to work or get groceries is a problem.
The biggest difference between germs and chemicals for me is that catching covid upon exposure is not guaranteed but exposure to problem chemicals both causes immediate reactions and cumulative ones, which can have more serious impact later. Cumulative chemical burden is like cumulative financial debt, one wrong move and you can go down hill for a lonnnnng time.
Okay so that’s out. But make contact with any /all types of organizations . My mom always said “The squeaky wheel gets the grease .”Maybe the Sensitivity thing can work in your favor with you’re Dr.s help.
This is true. I live my life avoiding those toxic chemicals. I can’t even be near people who use dryer sheets on the clothing because they make me sick.
Why we need the Reconciliation Bill to be as full packed as possible. We're sick of "Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness being reserved for the most among us. Providing for the general welfare should not be limited to a luck few but instead include everyone.
I hear ya sister!! I couldn’t have said it better myself. I came from a middle-class family (Back in the day when middle class meant you were average). When I got divorced my husband decided he didn’t need to pay me child support so I supported both of my children working sometimes three jobs. I am now 71 years old and still working with no end in sight. I enjoy working but I don’t enjoy stressing Thinking about being 80 and 85 and 90 and 95 and still having to work. I feel like the guy swimming away from jaws in the movie hoping he would make it to the pier before the worst happened. It’s not the American dream my folks grew up believing in. It’s a nightmare to be in this dynamic never knowing when the other shoe will drop.
I’m so sorry. I wish you all the best plus winning lotto.
I’m praying my brains stay functional enough not to get pushed out of my job and i can see myself crawling across my job’s icy parking lot in winter so I don’t break a hip.
Furthermore, I wish no one ever had to get old, sick, injured, or die. I think Heaven should just send a fancy letter telling someone they have 6 months on their current plain of existence, that transportation will be arranged, no need to pack, and provide a list of suggested people to with whom we should make amends.
The letter should include the reminder to write a will and, ideally, set up a trust. Both will minimize the pain and unneeded expenses of handling the deceased estate. A simple handwritten will with signature & date on each page would serve the purpose equally well (holographic will).
My good friend has been dealing with the sudden death of a cousin who died intestate. She would normally be the primary inheritor but probate court requires (at least in California) a kinship search to determine if there are other relatives within a defined kinship relationship with whom the $3,000,000+ estate must be shared. A big chunk of that estate is going to the probate process (attorneys, court documents, etc.).
I’ve had all that stuff taken care of as a single woman since I was in my 40s and I keep upgrading it all the time. I have a friend who I keep telling she needs to get a will and she just says I don’t have anything that’s fine my son will know what to do. And I say he won’t have the space to grieve the loss of you because he’s going to be dealing with paperwork for months if not years. But she doesn’t listen.
Sad. Somehow she needs to understand the actual $$$ costs for probate of an intestate deceased. Not only will any value of her small estate be eaten up by the process and attorneys but it may well affect her own son's financial resources. All she needs to do is handwrite, sign and date a simple statement that all she owns goes to her son (or divided among siblings if there are others). Costs only pen & paper. Sign and date (each page if more than one). Holographic wills (a will in the handwriting of the deceased), my attorney told me, are just as legal as a will drawn up by an attorney.
I am 87 and, in the Congo, put my life on the line for my country. This was when various Great Society laws were passed, including Medicare and the 1965 Voting Rights. The 1970s and early 1982s were a dismal decade of the Rust Belt, staccato recessions, unemployment of over 10%, and interest rates of 20%. I applaud the bipartisan, sensible tax reform law of 1986 and the upturn under Clinton, despite the newt (Gingrich).
What has greatly distressed me subsequently is how the Republicans have steadfastly pursued policies that favor big corporations and the wealthiest citizens, while seeking to block benefits that would serve the needs of the ‘99%. The Federalist Society has contributed to the increasingly retrograde court justices, especially in the Supreme Court. The Big Lie, ‘false facts,’ and systemic reduction of voting rights are hallmarks of the erosion of the America that I would like my grandchildren would inherit.
President Biden has a limited window of opportunity with his infrastructure bill and the $3.5trillion proposed investment in human infrastructure. If the Democrats can’t quit their bickering and press the pedal to the metal, 2013 could see us bemoaning this lost opportunity.
While the traditional infrastructure has been crumbling slowly for 60 years, it's easy to see and straight-forward to fix. The soft (human) infrastructure is even more important and in more dire need of repair. That the moderate, no call them what they are, conservative Democrats would try to rathole the big bill incites me to want to riot.
Having the triad of Biden-Pelosi-Progressive Caucus on the same page gives me tingles and memories of LBJ's Great Society and FDR's New Deal.
You're absolutely right Keith, this is their last and only shot. If they take it and succeed we could see a radical transformation across the country. If they don't it's going to be hell.
So true, and now evictions are ramping up. I just got a call soliciting me, and no doubt many other Realtors, to sign up to handle coming foreclosures. Somehow, this doesn’t feel good.
The house my father purchased in 1951 for 13K began to increase in value in the 80’s, when it was worth $80K. By the early 90’s it was worth $200K. It is now worth $500K. My father put $50 down on his house. Today you would have to put $125K down. Part of all this is because of Changes to banking laws, part of it to the rather new notion that the American dream means owning your own home, doIng whatever it takes to pay for the house. The price of land has gone up so much that unless a builder puts up a big expensive house he can’t make enough money to pay for the land. Small houses can’t pay for themselves. Rents have gone up accordingly. We would need a new version of the GI bill to produce decent, affordable houses, gov’t purchasing land at a low price so that small houses would be profitable. These would be entirely new communities, new versions of Levittown. They might take advantage of new building methods, off site modular construction, etc., to lower costs. You need a visionary and a state that is losing population to pull this off. There are also floor plans designed for housemates, not families.
It would give rise to more tenements, I think. Too much greed and not enough space in the most likely areas that can do this.
I think if America had a National Healthcare system, so many people wouldn’t have to live on top of each other to work at jobs which offer benefits. Businesses also might not need to be location dependent.
Affordable housing for single, middle class people and low income families could then be spread out into every community rather than mainly densely populated areas.
You've touched on the truth, Kara. The issue isn't more affordable housing. It's housing, period. All housing should be affordable and a human right, rather than carving out the needy. Let's face it, this is a quintessential American issue, which is strongly rooted in racism. "White flight" resulted in suburbia, while fear of the poor and needy divided whites from one another, too. We have a bad case of escapism from one another. I once lived in Costa Rica (now filled with enclaves of wealthy white retirees) where upper-middle-class homes commingled with humble one and two-bedroom wooden "casitas" to comprise small neighborhoods. CR is not free from social issues by a long shot, but there weren't the false divisions and ever-increasing housing prices just to get to preferential racial and economic segregation.
I would have done that years ago, but I suffer from chemical sensitivities and fragrance chemicals (which are in everything targeted at women) are a bad trigger for me. I get systemic reactions and there is no treatment other than avoidance.
That’s what I would love to do. Buy a big old house somewhere sorta remote, Gardner and try to become as self sufficient as possible. At least we would all have each other because living alone at 71 years old does not give me the warm fuzzies. If anyone is interested let me know! I’m not kidding!
I’m so glad the military is moving so quickly and that the infrastructure bill has passed. I hope the Senate passes it too. So much effort by the Biden Administration seems to get lost in the mess that is our media these days.
Despite Biden Administration’s extraordinary efforts and with all that needs to be fixed in America, I am ashamed to feel frustrated with past and present government that seems to be ignoring my generation - or at least it seems that way from my point of view.
Ronald Reagan’s economic framework began a few years before I graduated high school and I’ve been stuck in its results ever since.
I sink lower and lower in the economic class system every year despite being a college graduate and a hard worker. I’ve worked hard for over 25 years for the same company, but I can never retire because I could never put more than minimum into 401k and still pay my bills. Salary increases get lost in the rising cost of healthcare (and at least a certain amount of employer selfishness). I haven’t had so much as a cost of living increase in almost nine years.
I don’t want or need a handout, but I wish:
-that there was a way to have decent & affordable living in my area (safe enough that I can get from my car to my door without fear, no cockroaches or mold, and my “kitchen” includes a normal sized refrigerator & oven which are at least more than 20 feet away from my bed), because I see living in a van in my future. Single people, particularly women, get punished financially if we don’t earn 100,000/yr, we’re considered low income in the housing world. Minimum monthly rent in my area is at least $2,000/mo (not including parking, maintenance, or utilities) and I can’t even get close to that. I’d move out of state, but my field requires living near airports which usually has expensive cost of living no matter which state. I’d consider changing careers, but I am middle aged and would surely go down in pay.
-that there was a way to retire and not get stuck living on the streets.
-that there was a way to get out of credit card debt without having to live in a van before it’s necessary for a couple of years.
There are a lot of people around my age dealing with the same things and it’s a serious problem that I don’t see being acknowledged. I’m afraid the Reagan’s Rejects group within Generation X is doomed. I just don’t want us to become an expensive problem the government (and taxpayers, God forbid) have to deal with when maybe some smart people can help work on things with taxes, employers, and housing developers, etc to help turn this around.
I am really sorry for dumping my worries here when so many others in America and around the world are suffering terribly.
Lisa, this sounds like a terrible trap and you’re too buried in it to see a way out. It also sounds like depression, which is another trap.
Perhaps you could enlist the guidance of a wise friend to help develop a plan to free yourself from this situation and move forward.
Just the act of reaching out and looking at other perspectives often breaks the log jam just enough to find some maneuvering room.
My heart goes out to you.
Believe me, I’ve done that.
I’ve gone for therapy (still paying off the bills) only to find out I don’t suffer from Depression although I do get depressed. I have anxiety, more than anything else, but medication is out of the question.
I considered Debt consolidation but found it is a death knell in this economic environment and has been to some degree since before the pandemic.
I tried to see if I could live with family until I pay down debt to a manageable level (about a year), but situations made it not possible.
I used to work two jobs until I acquired chemical sensitivities.
So I just keep getting up and putting one foot in front of the other and working at things.
But like I said, this isn’t only about me. There are lots of us in same situation and I’m hoping it gets recognized and addressed to avoid a larger crisis in the future.
Depression and anxiety are valid responses to a depressing situation that creates anxiety about the outcome. People who don't get depressed and anxious nowadays probably aren't paying attention.
You’re right.
I’m so sorry you’re struggling. And yes, many others, especially women, are in your shoes.
My heart really goes out to you. Sending so much good juju your way even though it won't change policy and what you really need is cash. Take care.
Sending equal amounts of good juju back at you 😀
Is your huge debt load due to student loans repayment? Sorry if I am being personal and don't answer if it is offensive.
Car loan, student loan, & credit card.
Thank you for your story. It has struck a nerve.
The problem, Diane, isn't that Lisa needs financial-planning help. It's much sadder than that. It's that a quadrant of the baby-boomer generation (my people) has gotten us in such an economic predicament that the "trickle-down" consequences are already painfully apparent in the lives of the millennials. Greed and avarice, which burst on the scene with the sainted/tainted Ronald Reagan, have made life impossibly difficult for many of our own children and nieces and nephews. College debt, costly health care, end of pensions, blood-sucking corporations, miserly employers -- the younger people don't stand a chance. We really need to help them fix this mess.
(That's enough. No more coffee for me!)
Many, possibly most of us Boomers are also hanging by a thread. I do not adhere to the overly simplistic and totally inaccurate Blame from the Millennials meme. (I doubt that many Millenials do either.) It is the Reaganomics fans, Milton Friedman uber-capitalists, and self-serving wealthy (almost all are white males) of all ages who squarely have produced this sad, life-denying phenomenon.
And forget subsidize senior housing. You can put your name into most of them and get lucky if they call you within 10 to 15 years. There is not enough housing for this generation moving forward. Cold stop.
SLWeston, I completely agree we have a structural problem that individuals alone can’t repair. I was in no way blaming her.
I’ve lived in deep poverty. My only child developed type I diabetes when she was two. Living on minimum wage as a single parent with no medical insurance was a nightmare. Getting her medical care through county assistance programs was a full time job. My own severe asthma was another barrier to health insurance.
We only survived through the kindness and help of friends. One paid for my real estate license and mentored me that first year. Another helped me buy a reliable used car. It changed our lives and I’ve done my best to pay in forward.
My hope was that Lisa might find such help in her circle of friends. I’ve walked in her shoes and feel her pain.
Wow, Diane, does THAT ever anchor your comment in rich context. Thank you for sharing that. I so appreciate and admire your having had the dignity and humility to accept help from your friends, to build your life on it, and then resolve to share that kindness as best you can.
Stories like yours just thrill me, Diane. Isn't this just how communities, how life should work? Making connections, helping each other, honoring the help we've received by passing it on? You have made my day.
Thank you for your kind words. Without the love and kindness of one another, this life would make no sense.
Do I feel a committee coming on? I’m not a leader but I’m a great follower! Should we sit back on our thumbs and just let this happen to us and other generations or is it time to open our mouth’s and make our voices heard?
I’m for the latter myself.
There is no “other plan”. There are no solutions. I’m living it and I know.
I’m sure there are other plans, but I think they’re mainly unlikely, unpalatable, or illegal :)
I have a sister in the same rut. Working in child care, barely making $33K/year, 52 yrs old, grown son in college, divorced, husband reneged on alimony years ago and she cannot afford to fight him, no way up and few options out. She found a small one bedroom for $975/month in a dicey neighborhood. She is making it. But would love to have some to save for her future and for her son.
I hear you. 🙏🏼
I wish your sister the best of luck.
Thank you, Lisa. I wish you well, too!
I am so glad that you wrote this, Lisa. Squeaky wheels on serious issues need to be heard. If not for the grace of something all of us could be in the same position. I have been thinking as I help older friends look at senior housing and how ridiculously expensive it is. I loved visiting my grandmother's expensive senior community in Irvine, CA and wished I could live there. I was too young and the costs were exorbitant. Why can't we create or extend Habitat for Humanity to build build communities tiny houses with communal areas for our aging population and for low-income persons? The smaller footprint is essential for to cope with inequality and and low pay and will help with climate crisis. Or converting the rising defunct malls and business buildings into senior and low income housing. Corporations that make profits that stink to high heaven whilst their employees have to live on food stamps and/or Medicaid is truly unconscionable. They need to pay a living wages that promote dignity as their workers age. Corporate America has run amuck and failed our people. They have swung too far on the capitalist pendulum greedily drooling for more. We need to demand social responsibility on corporations that make obscene profits at the cost of our society. Take all those gigantic political donations and lobbyist payrolls and invest in our people and communities instead.
Lisa, I do think, until my fantasy is realized, it is good to pool money with other people to share housing. I do not agree it is good to live in a van, unless you are healthy, live in a warm climate and can migrate with the seasons. You may need to contact a social worker who can help you with things like Section 8 housing or programs in your area to help people in your situation. Take heart and keep sharing your plight with people in your area. Our little village here in VT has two living places for those who cannot afford much housing. They have to qualify and include veterans, people on disability, and low income people who appear to be mostly middle aged to elderly. We also just built another apartment complex for young families because available, affordable housing and jobs here are compromised. Wishing you success-- you had the guts to write here, that indicates you are willing to reach out, which I encourage you to do locally and wish you the very best.
Habitat For Humanity is very compelling. I think of the Carters. But it's an inefficient and expensive way to provide housing. The benefits of high quality, industrially produced modular and manufactured homes using the benefits automobiles have from quality control, small tolerances which make better fits, and a much lower price than if every auto was built in your driveway by volunteers. There are a LOT of people to house.
I wish all states make arrangements to allow people to live in their vehicles legally until better solutions are possible for all.
Lisa. It’s not just that they live in their vehicles. They poop and pee in neighbors yards, a tremendous health risk for humans and dogs.
I agree, which is why states need to make arrangements for legal vehicle-living. Sanitation and safety needs would be part of that.
Yes, just an expansion of the idea of HFH using more efficient means for multi-housing. There is also a huge wave of more affordable tiny houses or apartments, using recycled materials such old buses, 18-wheeler pods, and trailers. A lot of young and retiring people are creating homes on wheels in very imaginative and very cheap ways. We need to use our imagination to make this happen. I wish I had more time and financing to work on things like this. Saving our democracy is at the forefront at the moment...
Yes. Save our democracy. SB1, and fighting gerrymandering.
It would be sooo easy and efficient for the government to throw box houses up, rows and rows of them, for people who’s financial situation is slipping away ( that’d be me). So so easy. They do it in natural disasters inside of a week. But no they won’t because theyre too focused raking in the dough from big pharma and there vaccines. It’s far more lucrative for them than building reasonable housing for people who are 1 foot from the street.🥾
Wait. What?! Who’s “raking in the dough from big pharma and there vaccines,” Elaine???
Sounds like you might be getting your intel from Hugh Hewitt. You’re not related to him, are you?
Great ideas. It’s sadly not possible in our lifetime, but I have hope for future.
FYI: It is rarely possible for chemically sensitive individuals to share living quarters (which is why van is in my future). The chemically sensitive community all have varying levels of sensitivity and varying chemical triggers. Most are too sensitive to work outside the home and some literally cannot even live inside a home.
Many of us tried to pair up, but learned the hard way that one of the hazards is if one party seriously declines and can’t work, the other person sharing a space is going to be responsible for all costs and for nursing roommate back to good health if it is possible.
Everyone in the community live so precariously that we fear sharing space with others. Non-chemically sensitive individuals generally can’t understand the illness and can’t live the necessary way needed to share space with chemically sensitive person.
This is a really difficult situation for a specific population's needs. I am so sorry-- a van does sound like the right thing for you. I lived in a vanagon and on boats for a couple of years. I loved it and the freedom. The whole world can be be your front yard. And there are campgrounds that are not expensive to rent space in. Sharing showering facilities might be problematic for your chemical sensitivities.
I think you are much more informed about your situation and are teaching me that I do not know a lot about the home life and aging of chemically sensitive individuals. Thanks for writing the community here.
I have also lived in my Vanagon for months at a time. While I do well in such a situation, I cringe to think of the impact it may have on other less adapted types.
Just the smell of dryer sheets makes me literally sick, that and perfume, scented cleaning products etc. That so many people don’t know yet that all of these things are basically poison and sit in the brain and the liver is beyond me. Shame on these companies, shame on the government for not banning these horrible chemicals. People, you are selling your children up for horrible diseases in their lifetime if you keep putting clothing on them that you use dryer sheets with. This is not a joke. One scientist said that wearing clothing with dryer sheets and centered laundry detergents on them is actually worse than smoking cigarettes.
Oh and don’t let me go on about plug-ins and scented candles. They are the worst!
People don’t realize how bad many of the ingredients are. Plus, an ingredient is only tested in a particular amount under certain circumstances. The test doesn’t account for when person uses multiple products containing that ingredient. For example, testing for a common fragrance ingredient, won’t account for 70 people wearing 12 scented items containing that ingredient all stuck in an office for 7-10 hours a day, 5 days a week etc, year after year.
Buyers just assume they’re safe, but really, they’re sneakily classified as GRAS/GENERALLY Recognized As Safe, (for most and only under the specific circumstances used for testing).
There’s a decent App called Think Dirty - you scan a cleaning / body care product bar code and if it’s in their database, the ingredients pop up with ratings. And if you click on the ingredients, it tells you a lot about it like what it does and how it affects the body.
We’ve all seen the misinformation/disinformation campaigns and the political game playing. They got a lot of tactics from Advertising & Marketing practices.
Look what Trump, Death Santis, MTG, et al have done for themselves and their political party, do people really think manufacturers lie, cheat, or endanger any less? Advertising & Marketing hides a lot of sins.
Isn’t Medicaid helpful?
Lisa, thank you for your honest post. I am angered and saddened by the dilemma you are in. You are in my thoughts.
Thank you. It is embarrassing to be in such a position and admit it, but I only brought it up because it’s likely going to have greater impact on America in the next 10-25 years.
Don't be embarrassed. Speaking out is self-advocacy. You may be able to connect with individuals in a similar situation and find resolution.
Lisa, risking vulnerability to tell your story is an act of courage. And sometimes it even helps us to see our own stories more clearly. You are a survivor against terrible odds. Thank you.
An extremely important perspective. Thank you for writing. Take care.
Yes. The legacy of Republican deficit spending on stupid wars has made you poor through currency destruction.
I doubt it will get better.
I’m afraid you’re right…
Why does a Roommate have to be a woman ? I had a Roommate for 20 yrs that was a guy who just happen to not know how to clean house, or cook, or do laundry or anything else he really just didn’t like to do. I paid $250.00 a month rent . As it turned out we became best friends. He dated , I dated .We had each others backs on everything. If you have an agency that hooks up roommates, does background checks etc. And you mentioned you live close to an Airport.You just might be what a single Pilot is looking for. 2. Not sure who you work for or how you are to request a raise ? But Do It ! The worst that can happen is a denial. 3. Take a day off, go to public and private ( A good charity is the Catholic Charity ) but check your area for any Gov help and charity, $ you can save on food put on that CC payment. We have a ‘Sharing Center here ‘ they will often pay some or all of high electric or water bills. Catholic Charities often will also. There is food pantries also. 4 The best medication for anxiety is simply Breathing. Ever notice women who are big belly PG and they are standing and rubbing the sides of their belly’s in circles. That is not just a thing PG woman do. It has a purpose. It calms the baby and the CB mom. The good news is you don’t NEED to be PG to do it and men can do it also. Just let it all hang out baby and just Breath. We women think we have to hold our belly’s in . I took a friend to get help here once. There was a long line. Everyone was anxious , moody, irritable. So I got everyone in line to do it. They were laughing, smiling and calm in minutes. When it was my friends turn at the counter the worker looked at me and said “ Thank you , can you stay all day ?”. True story. We make ourselves anxious. We can make ourselves Unanxious as well. Try it ! So now you have things to do.❤️🦋
I don’t care if person is male, female, or transitioning. Roommate is highly unlikely for me as most cannot comply with needs of chemically sensitive individual.
I only go to places if I have to. Substitute covid germs for problem chemicals and you might see why leaving safe space other than to work or get groceries is a problem.
The biggest difference between germs and chemicals for me is that catching covid upon exposure is not guaranteed but exposure to problem chemicals both causes immediate reactions and cumulative ones, which can have more serious impact later. Cumulative chemical burden is like cumulative financial debt, one wrong move and you can go down hill for a lonnnnng time.
Okay so that’s out. But make contact with any /all types of organizations . My mom always said “The squeaky wheel gets the grease .”Maybe the Sensitivity thing can work in your favor with you’re Dr.s help.
This is true. I live my life avoiding those toxic chemicals. I can’t even be near people who use dryer sheets on the clothing because they make me sick.
Dryer sheets are the devil. I used to be able to take walks outside years ago. No more. Praying for change.
Best of luck to you.
Lisa, I pray for all women in your situation. If not for a fortunate change of circumstances in my life, your story would be mine as well.
Why we need the Reconciliation Bill to be as full packed as possible. We're sick of "Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness being reserved for the most among us. Providing for the general welfare should not be limited to a luck few but instead include everyone.
I hear ya sister!! I couldn’t have said it better myself. I came from a middle-class family (Back in the day when middle class meant you were average). When I got divorced my husband decided he didn’t need to pay me child support so I supported both of my children working sometimes three jobs. I am now 71 years old and still working with no end in sight. I enjoy working but I don’t enjoy stressing Thinking about being 80 and 85 and 90 and 95 and still having to work. I feel like the guy swimming away from jaws in the movie hoping he would make it to the pier before the worst happened. It’s not the American dream my folks grew up believing in. It’s a nightmare to be in this dynamic never knowing when the other shoe will drop.
I’m so sorry. I wish you all the best plus winning lotto.
I’m praying my brains stay functional enough not to get pushed out of my job and i can see myself crawling across my job’s icy parking lot in winter so I don’t break a hip.
Furthermore, I wish no one ever had to get old, sick, injured, or die. I think Heaven should just send a fancy letter telling someone they have 6 months on their current plain of existence, that transportation will be arranged, no need to pack, and provide a list of suggested people to with whom we should make amends.
The letter should include the reminder to write a will and, ideally, set up a trust. Both will minimize the pain and unneeded expenses of handling the deceased estate. A simple handwritten will with signature & date on each page would serve the purpose equally well (holographic will).
My good friend has been dealing with the sudden death of a cousin who died intestate. She would normally be the primary inheritor but probate court requires (at least in California) a kinship search to determine if there are other relatives within a defined kinship relationship with whom the $3,000,000+ estate must be shared. A big chunk of that estate is going to the probate process (attorneys, court documents, etc.).
I’ve had all that stuff taken care of as a single woman since I was in my 40s and I keep upgrading it all the time. I have a friend who I keep telling she needs to get a will and she just says I don’t have anything that’s fine my son will know what to do. And I say he won’t have the space to grieve the loss of you because he’s going to be dealing with paperwork for months if not years. But she doesn’t listen.
Sad. Somehow she needs to understand the actual $$$ costs for probate of an intestate deceased. Not only will any value of her small estate be eaten up by the process and attorneys but it may well affect her own son's financial resources. All she needs to do is handwrite, sign and date a simple statement that all she owns goes to her son (or divided among siblings if there are others). Costs only pen & paper. Sign and date (each page if more than one). Holographic wills (a will in the handwriting of the deceased), my attorney told me, are just as legal as a will drawn up by an attorney.
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I am 87 and, in the Congo, put my life on the line for my country. This was when various Great Society laws were passed, including Medicare and the 1965 Voting Rights. The 1970s and early 1982s were a dismal decade of the Rust Belt, staccato recessions, unemployment of over 10%, and interest rates of 20%. I applaud the bipartisan, sensible tax reform law of 1986 and the upturn under Clinton, despite the newt (Gingrich).
What has greatly distressed me subsequently is how the Republicans have steadfastly pursued policies that favor big corporations and the wealthiest citizens, while seeking to block benefits that would serve the needs of the ‘99%. The Federalist Society has contributed to the increasingly retrograde court justices, especially in the Supreme Court. The Big Lie, ‘false facts,’ and systemic reduction of voting rights are hallmarks of the erosion of the America that I would like my grandchildren would inherit.
President Biden has a limited window of opportunity with his infrastructure bill and the $3.5trillion proposed investment in human infrastructure. If the Democrats can’t quit their bickering and press the pedal to the metal, 2013 could see us bemoaning this lost opportunity.
While the traditional infrastructure has been crumbling slowly for 60 years, it's easy to see and straight-forward to fix. The soft (human) infrastructure is even more important and in more dire need of repair. That the moderate, no call them what they are, conservative Democrats would try to rathole the big bill incites me to want to riot.
Having the triad of Biden-Pelosi-Progressive Caucus on the same page gives me tingles and memories of LBJ's Great Society and FDR's New Deal.
You're absolutely right Keith, this is their last and only shot. If they take it and succeed we could see a radical transformation across the country. If they don't it's going to be hell.
Linda Greenly-Finch
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❤️❤️❤️ I wonder if you can find a group of women in similar positions and combine forces, sharing the burden of housing cost?
Great. Roomates at 50. Not to be a Debbie Downer, but I'd rather live in a van down by the river.
But seriously, affordable housing should not be this difficult. There's just not enough of it to go around.
So true, and now evictions are ramping up. I just got a call soliciting me, and no doubt many other Realtors, to sign up to handle coming foreclosures. Somehow, this doesn’t feel good.
The house my father purchased in 1951 for 13K began to increase in value in the 80’s, when it was worth $80K. By the early 90’s it was worth $200K. It is now worth $500K. My father put $50 down on his house. Today you would have to put $125K down. Part of all this is because of Changes to banking laws, part of it to the rather new notion that the American dream means owning your own home, doIng whatever it takes to pay for the house. The price of land has gone up so much that unless a builder puts up a big expensive house he can’t make enough money to pay for the land. Small houses can’t pay for themselves. Rents have gone up accordingly. We would need a new version of the GI bill to produce decent, affordable houses, gov’t purchasing land at a low price so that small houses would be profitable. These would be entirely new communities, new versions of Levittown. They might take advantage of new building methods, off site modular construction, etc., to lower costs. You need a visionary and a state that is losing population to pull this off. There are also floor plans designed for housemates, not families.
It would give rise to more tenements, I think. Too much greed and not enough space in the most likely areas that can do this.
I think if America had a National Healthcare system, so many people wouldn’t have to live on top of each other to work at jobs which offer benefits. Businesses also might not need to be location dependent.
Affordable housing for single, middle class people and low income families could then be spread out into every community rather than mainly densely populated areas.
You've touched on the truth, Kara. The issue isn't more affordable housing. It's housing, period. All housing should be affordable and a human right, rather than carving out the needy. Let's face it, this is a quintessential American issue, which is strongly rooted in racism. "White flight" resulted in suburbia, while fear of the poor and needy divided whites from one another, too. We have a bad case of escapism from one another. I once lived in Costa Rica (now filled with enclaves of wealthy white retirees) where upper-middle-class homes commingled with humble one and two-bedroom wooden "casitas" to comprise small neighborhoods. CR is not free from social issues by a long shot, but there weren't the false divisions and ever-increasing housing prices just to get to preferential racial and economic segregation.
I would have done that years ago, but I suffer from chemical sensitivities and fragrance chemicals (which are in everything targeted at women) are a bad trigger for me. I get systemic reactions and there is no treatment other than avoidance.
That’s what I would love to do. Buy a big old house somewhere sorta remote, Gardner and try to become as self sufficient as possible. At least we would all have each other because living alone at 71 years old does not give me the warm fuzzies. If anyone is interested let me know! I’m not kidding!